Cute Jewess Tells All

2008-10-02T16:45:00.003-05:00

The title of this post is: But will he be a dick?

I felt like having a title.

Because I am in need of distraction right now, I'm letting my Jdate screening process lapse a little. It's not like I'll go out with anyone, but if a guy rushes to ask me out after only a couple emails and no phone call, eh, I'll take it. And so we get Maybe Dick. I like how it sounds like Moby Dick, which makes me feel half-way clever.

Maybe Dick has an adorable dog (visible in pic) and a sweet smile. Annnnd that's about what I like about him right now. We will likely get together soon, but part of the planning process has given me pause. For one, he initially asked if I wanted to walk around the city for our date, dog in tow. I wrote back--Sure, but that'll mean I'll wear flats instead of my usual date heels. He protested: Oh, but I love heels! Let's do something else.

So wait. Maybe Dick expected me to walk all over town with his dog in uncomfortable shoes? Strike One.

Maybe Dick implied that he likes when women dress up a bit. He then gently balked when I suggested an upscale--not too pricey or exclusive, mind you, just not a pub--location. He said he'd been really busy that week and out a lot, and he just wanted to relax.

Soooooo wait again. He wants to relax, but he wants me to get all dolled up while he's relaxing? Strike Two. I very nearly wrote that to him: So you want to relax but not enough for me to be able to relax as well?

Yeah, sounds like a dick, no? Also I know he's very into my pictures more than anything else, probably because he's mentioned them more than once.

So why am I going out with him?

There you go. I need the distraction. I need to be out of my house and preoccupied away from my own thoughts. And if that means collecting a story about a guy who turns out to be a dick so I can blog about it? Then I guess that's what I'm doing.

But then maybe he'll surprise me...

--Cute Jewess

2008-10-01T12:16:00.002-05:00

I haven't been writing because I haven't been doing so good. And I've been trying to find any distraction I can from thinking about how I'm not doing so good. Things with Surprise! got very close and intense very fast, and he was a dream. An absolute joy that made me happier than I've been in years. And then at the first sign that not every single moment was going to be all fantasy and perfection, he bailed. There's nothing I can do; he is gone. Even though the way things ended did indeed make me realize he wasn't as amazing as he seemed, it doesn't matter. He still broke my heart into tiny, sharp pieces, and they still sting. But I have tried to talk and think about him as little as possible.

Fratty, from a few weeks back? He continued to text for a while, and then he asked me out again. After things fizzled with Surprise!, I accepted. We had a great time. I like him, but I don't think we're a match for anything long-term or serious. However, as happens so often, he is now cooling and no longer responding if I text him. Great. If he vanishes, I won't mourn the loss of him so much as I will the loss of the distraction. We had fun. These days I need whatever fun I can get.

It's not just dudes. It's everything. Career, life, everything is going south. It's been very tough to take. I broke down and went to my parents' house, cried to them, told him how unhappy I've been recently. They assured me that they think I can do anything. That I will pull through. That things will be okay.

But for right now, it's just very, very hard.

2008-08-30T09:22:00.003-05:00

Hottie1 never made a peep again. A guy friend says it sounds like H1 just wanted to get me interested, and then vanish off to get the next girl interested. Who knows? It was just--to me--an odd situation to have a guy calling, emailing, courting one minute and then, literally, vanishing the next. I still don't get it.

Fratty? We still don't get him either. He stopped emailing and texting for a day, so I figured--okay, he was just being friendly. I wasn't really into him anyway. But then he texted again yesterday, and he implied he's going to keep on texting me. Will he ask me out again when he's back from the long weekend away? I have no idea. Either way I won't consider it a big deal.

Now let's move on to "Surprise!" Surprise! jdate-emailed me last week, and if it weren't for his message, I probably wouldn't have written back. He hadn't written much on his profile, and his pics were not all that cute. Not unattractive, mind you, just on the shlubby side. But he complimented what I'd written in my profile, and something prompted me to write back. Maybe it was because I was still smarting from Hottie1, and any distraction was welcome. We emailed a bit, and it was a perfectly fine back and forth--if perhaps not exhilarating. We set up a date, I thought very little of it, and we went about our respective weeks from there.

Then I met him. Surprise! What a great guy. First of all, he's handsome. Very handsome. And the direct opposite of shlubby. Our conversation flowed well, and I had a great time with him. But I couldn't exactly tell how he was feeling about me. He seemed to be enjoying my company, but would the interest move beyond that? Earlier than I'd like, he said he had to go. It was a good reason, but I was disappointed--and a bit nervous. Was he just making an excuse to end the date? We walked out of the restaurant, to where he had his car (he has a car!), and I thought--okay, will he kiss me goodnight? Come on, Surprise!, kiss me goodnight. He took my hand and kissed that. Mmmmkay. What does that mean!? I felt my heart sinking. You don't kiss a girl's hand if you want another date, do you?

But then he said, "I had a great time with you, can we do it again?" And I said yes. Soooo hopefully we have an as-yet-unplanned date for the future. I was even more pleased when the first thing next morning I got an email saying again that he enjoyed meeting me and looks forward to next time.

That's good, right? I mean, I don't know anymore!!

Please let's not face another disappointment, Dating Gods. I've had some tough experiences with dudes in the past few months. My emotions can't handle too much more confusing disappointment...throw me a bone?

2008-08-28T13:24:00.002-05:00

Boys. Are. Confusing. That's it right there.

I went on a date a couple days ago with a guy we'll call Fratty. As you might get from the name, he's not really my type. He's a bit younger, he's on the blond side, and he's kind of a frat-boy type. That said, our date was enjoyable enough. He was very much a gentleman, which I like. He pushed my chair in, walked me home, did all the nice touches a well-brought up boy does for a girl. Also, he's cute. And he's got a hot body. And he seems honest, doesn't give off the douche-vibe. So is he my soul match? Probably not. Would I go out with him again? Yes.

At the end of the night, Fratty stressed how good it was to meet me, and he kissed me on the cheek a couple times, but it didn't seem like he was trying to go for the goodnight kiss. We'd had laughs, good conversation. He seemed to like hanging out with me, so I thought maybe he'd go for the kiss. When he didn't--and when he didn't leave with the "I'll call you," then I figured--okay, guess he's not interested.

But the next morning, he emailed me. And again he said how great it was to meet me. And there's been some email back-and-forth and some texting since. More than I'd imagine from someone who's not interested, but still with no mention of getting together again.

So what's the story? Is he interested--and keeping in touch for that reason? Or is he not interested--and emailing/texting to be nice? I have no idea. But he did intimate during our date that he's not looking for new friends. So I am--surprise surprise!--confused.

Fratty's away for the long weekend. I guess I'll see what he does when he's back.

Boys are weird.

2008-08-20T06:34:00.002-05:00

No Hottie1. And for the first time in months, no other guys waiting in the wings. So maybe I'll be taking a break from dating. I'm sure I'll get handily back on the saddle soon, but to keep looking forward to seeing someone and to keep being disappointed over and over throughout my many months of dating has gotten wearying.

Don't have much else to say right now!

--Cute Jewess

2008-08-17T11:04:00.002-05:00

I am in a really bad mood.

Part of this has to do with my time of the month, which always makes me feel down. Part of it has to do with work stuff. And part of it has to do with Hottie1.

Hottie1 has vanished. At least for now. It's weird.

After our first date, he emailed me the next morning to ask for another. He's been calling, texting, emailing, all suave and charming and let's-court-CJ. Then, suddenly, he had to cancel our date, understandably. Since then I've heard nothing. I texted him since then, and he hasn't responded. I know he's away, but in the past he's still gotten in touch. It just feels weird. Why has he all of the sudden disappeared? I can't think of a single thing I may have done that could have scared him away.

I guess the only thing to do is wait and see if he reschedules. Again, oddly, I just have a feeling he's not going to. I hate this part. I hate when the gorgeous, sweet, smart guy vanishes for no reason. I just don't get it!

--Cute Jewess

2008-08-13T19:56:00.002-05:00

Ohhhh well. I learned it wasn't that Hottie1 came home early. It was that he was going to be in town one night this week, and he wanted to see me.

But, alas, as I should have anticipated with only one day in town, work got him. He had to cancel our date. He was appropriately contrite, and genuinely disappointed.

I'm disappointed too! But the excuse was good, and so I'll hope for better next time! What a bummer that I have to wait, though.

Clearly Hottie1 hasn't been reading this blog and doesn't realize how impatient I can be!

--Cute Jewess

P.S. Gymnastics can be totally riveting, no!? And I thought dating was drama!

2008-08-12T13:59:00.003-05:00

So what if Hottie1 was getting back in town earlier than he expected? And let's say he called to ask me out for the night he gets home?

How sweet would that be?

I'm having some what-to-wear indecision...

--Cute Jewess

2008-08-11T15:13:00.003-05:00

Hmmm, since I started blogging again more frequently, the comments have been riddled with Orthodox Jewish spam. Note to all Jewish spammers: I screen comments. I delete yours.

Hottie1 is out of town this week, so I figured I'd just talk to him when he's back, and we'd hopefully set up a 2nd date then. Surprisingly, though, he called me, out of the blue. Just to chat. He was obviously trying kinda hard, too. Trying to make me laugh, trying to compliment me. Just sounding like a guy who likes a girl and is looking forward to seeing her again.

Now, Loverville and I know alllll about dudes who fall for us after the first date, shower us with attention, and then pretty much vanish after another date or two. What's nice this time around with Hottie1, is that while I do have a giddy feeling about him, it feels more tempered. More rational. With OS, for example, who's the guy I would most compare with Hottie1--two super handsome, successful, fun guys courting me after a first date--I was on cloud friggin' 9. I coulda had that cloud tattooed on my forehead. But the attention Hottie1 is showing me doesn't feel overdone. It feels like just the right amount--enough to show his interest, but not so much that the dating part will be moving full throttle forward.

And so, with Hottie1, we have a To Be Continued...

--Cute Jewess

2008-08-09T15:14:00.003-05:00

I looked back in the archives to discover that the dude I'm going to tell you about next is Hottie1. Man he goes back aways. He's one of the best-looking guys I've ever seen on Jdate. He is hot. Period. Or, at least, his pictures were. We had made plans before, and they didn't work out. Basically, he never confirmed or canceled, and the day of the date simply passed by without event. So when I saw him back on Jdate, I didn't think much except, "Oh, there's that really hot guy I never got to meet." And then he popped back into my inbox.

Since he reconnected, Hottie1 has acted exactly as someone feeling contrite should act. He apologized for what happened months ago, he asked me if I'd give him another chance, and he put in every effort to take me on a very nice date.

Um, guess what? He's hotter in person.

But it's not just about the hotness, I promise. He's also funny, so smart, successful, has a cute sense of style. And he made up for the lack of any affection showed by Sweet Square. He sat down next to me about as close as he could, and though we weren't really touching throughout the night, there seemed to be chemistry. He told me that he'd kept thinking about me since the last time we had spoken, and that I'd seemed so intelligent. He seems highly impressed by intelligence. It didn't hurt that he also told me I looked just like my pics. He dropped me on my doorstep, leaned in for a kiss, and it was an awesome one.

Back when we were first due to hang out, I remember feeling insecure--kind of like, but he's got these model good-looks, and I'm just "cute." I'm happy to report I didn't feel that way while anticipating the date this time around. I have felt like pretty friggin' hot stuff lately. I'm not sure where the change in attitude came from, but I feel like (tastefully) flaunting my little bod and making boys lust after it. Or something a bit more tame, but to that effect.

So will Hottie1 lust after me? I don't know. I do know he asked for a second date almost first thing the next day. I expect it to happen, but I do still feel a bit unsure about how reliable he is. Still, so far he's made every effort to court me well. He's not coming on too strong or too weak. I think we'll make it to a second date. Seems we both want to.

He seems like the perfect catch. But perfect can also be scary. Because if no one's perfect...then what's wrong with him? We'll see where this one goes. But I'll tell you--he is without a doubt a superb antidote for the Original Sporty addiction. Then again, Original Sporty started out courting me hard-core too. And so I can have no expectations at all right now.

Just some hope.

--Cute Jewess

2008-08-07T21:22:00.002-05:00

I'm in my favorite blogging mode: With a glass full of wine and a head full of stories!

Oh, there's so much to tell. I've been composing blog entries in my head for weeks now, while waiting for the subway or walking down the street. "What a good entry this would make!" has crossed my mind way too often for me not to tell you what's going on.

But I'm in a conundrum--where to start!? Chronologically? Because that would be the best way for you guys to catch up. But for me? Well, I'm dying to tell you about the last guy, the one I'm most excited about...I wonder if that might have to wait for tomorrow, though.

Let's step back a bit, and I'll bring you up to speed on my last 3 jdate guys. The first one we'll call Hell No (a name, you might imagine, conjured up in retrospect). So, Hell No and I had emailed a bit, but mostly we tried to find each other to IM when we were both online. He's a great IMer--witty, quippy, fun. At least on the internets...

I was going to be Hell No's last Jdate for a while, he told me. He'd grown disillusioned with the whole thing. Said it wasn't going the way he'd wanted. Now, I've been told this by guys before. Usually it means the guy considers the woman not to be what's "advertised." So I assumed this was what Hell No meant. She doesn't look like her picture, she can't hold a conversation, etc.

When I saw Hell No, I reconsidered that assumption. First of all, his profile pictures must have been 1) years old, and he's not an old guy, and 2) taken in light sent down from God's eye itself. I would never have recognized him. But still, what about the witty conversation, right? Ummm, no. He was sarcastic to the point of being actually rude. He insulted my interests, and when I said--not only politely, but actually interested--"Ok, so what are your interests?" He responded: "I have no interests."

Really? Really, buddy? I looked at him quizzically. He said, "There must be things I do, but I forget them in an interview situation." Yeahhh, it's called conversation, homeslice. I basically wound up telling him the date should end, and he agreed impolitely. He was nearly mean to me most of the time.

Note to Hell No: When you look completely different than your picture and you are unable to hold civil conversation, my guess is that yeah, Jdate ain't gonna work too well for ya.

Soon after Hell No would be Sweet Square. We'd also had great email conversations--such a fun back-and-forth. In person, he was much more reserved. But I used to be like that on a first date, too, so I didn't think much of it. Something about him grew on me throughout the date. He's not knock-out handsome, but he was cute, in a square kind of way. This is not a carefree individual, but he had a good sense of humor, and an earnestness about him I liked. When he walked me home, we had some great kissing goodnight. At one point, he even exclaimed "Wow."

From then on, we were email dating. Every day, all day, we'd trade flirty messages. Some of what he wrote me was just so sweet--the kind of stuff you hope a guy will write. It was fun, for both of us, and it got a little saucy! So when our 2nd date rolled around, I had somewhat high expectations. I waited for him to put a hand on my back, or casually touch my knee...something...but in person, again, he was absolutely nothing like his emails. Still, we had a few more kisses when he walked me home, and he asked me out on a third date.

The emails continued. And they were great. We had such a good email relationship! Flirt, flirt, flirt all day long. It gave me the giddy feeling that makes the early days of dating worth it. I kind of hinted that I expected him to be a bit more flirty in person for our third date--very innocuously, and in the spirit of all our emails--and all of the sudden, he got cold. The next day he emailed me that he didn't think we were a good match. The end.

I'm not too heartbroken. I have a tendency to ask "Gee, what's wrong with me?" But this time, I think it's at least 95% him. (And, of course, 100% his loss.) Still, what an odd and sudden about face. I would have waited until after our 3rd date to decide things--but God forbid maybe he would have been expected to put a hand on my arm. Especially after emailing about how much he likes my legs, my figure, etc. Something, besides sitting side by side as if I were rigged with electroshock therapy.

Which brings me to the third guy, whom I went out with the very day Sweet Square ended things. And whose name I have to look up. Because he's a return. From ages ago--longer than many of you will remember. What a dreamy date we had. He's not perfect, let me tell you--but he's smart, charming, successful, funny, seemingly affectionate (although friggin' Rogue from X-Man would seem touchy feely after Sweet Square), and HOT. AS. HELL.

But more on that tomorrow :-)
--Cute Jewess

2008-07-12T17:29:00.004-05:00

Ack! I want to come back, I do!! Another venture is taking up pretty much most of my online free time, but I'll work on a balance.

In the meantime, I see OS on Tuesday, and he's been so sweet lately. I feel much more well-adjusted about our situation, and I'm seeing other people and just enjoying that he's back to the guy I loved hanging out with so much before. What will happen in the future? Who knows. But for now I'm not stressing about it (too much!) And yeahhhh I'll still always delete the know-it-all advice emails about him. They're just so holier-than-thou and make me go "Blah blah blah" in my head as I press "Reject!"

So here's what I need from the collective universe right now, and feel free to put forth your mental energies toward it. Not too much mental energy, mind you. Maybe just an "oh please!" or two. I've got a big date with Original Sporty on Tuesday, and he's promised to be verrrry good to me. But it's also smack dab when I'm supposed to be "indisposed," to use a lady-euphemism. Can the universe please postpone my "indisposal" time by 3 days? Pleeeeease? Just three little days?

Ugh, but I'm bloated and breaking out--that's so not a good sign. If the Monthly Gods give me until Wednesday, I promise the Blogging Gods I'll be a good little dating blogger and update more often. Prommmmmise!!

Stay tuned to hear about the other dude who's entered my life (you've heard of him before!). He's trying to court me pretty actively, and we're due for a lovely dinner Monday night. Let's see how that goes! He recently told me "You could have any guy you want." Haaaaa. If he only knew!

--Cute Jewess

2008-06-06T14:24:00.006-05:00

I didn't mean to!
I know I've been gone forever. Really, the biggest reason is that for the past 3 weeks, I've been preoccupied with something I just can't blog about because it's sooo identifying. But! It's a joyous thing that has made my life better--and it has eased some of the pain from the tragedy I went through a few months back that you might remember. If you want to guess, or you can't bear not to know, then email at cutejewess@gmail.com rather than guessing in comments. Has nothing to do with boys, job, family, etc.

But yes, in the meantime, I've dated 3 dudes. And I've had 3 other dudes disappear. That's a lot of blogging to do! And also...I'm supposed to see OS this weekend. Will it actually happen? I don't know. What will happen if it happens? I don't know. But it will be the first time we've hung out since the whole heartbreak, and the thought of seeing him again puts a smile on my face. (Yup! I still delete comments about how sure you are that I'm ruining my life by inviting OS back into it. I delete you, judgy commenters certain of your omniscience!)

The three disappearing dudes:
1) Edgy. We had a good date ages ago; he's sexy and fun. The next day he instantly facebook-friended me. We emailed and texted every day for a while--most often with him initiating! But then one day I texted him and he never texted back. So a couple days later I emailed him, and nothing. There's no figuring this one out, so I won't even try.

2) Sweet Stocky. I'll call him that because he has such a sweet smile, and we had quite fun emails. According to his pics, he's shorter and stockier than most of the dudes I date, but still really cute. He left me a lovely voicemail message in which he said he was interested in talking in person to that cute girl he was emailing. I called him back and left a message, and then nothing. I emailed him a few days later, and nothing. Erm...?

3) Tweener. Remember 'Tween? Again with this one--after our first date he kept texting me. In fact, once while I was out with Loverville and another friend, he texted that he couldn't wait to be kissed by me again. Never heard from him again.

The dudes I dated:
1) Quiet Risk Taker: QRT was somewhat reserved, perhaps shy, but was also a bit of a dare-devil. We had a perfectly nice date--one of the more enjoyable ones I've had lately--but there just wasn't any spark for me. If I had been inviting at the end, I think he would have called for another date. But no harm, no foul.

2) FEGGELEH. Oy. This guy had such cute pics! Oh, he seemed adorable. We spoke many times on the phone, and he seemed very eager to impress. This actually soured me toward him a bit, because he had that "I'm a comedian! I'm going to be so funny for you!" vibe that you sometimes get when someone's trying too hard. But I thought if I turned out to like him in person, I'd consider it endearing. When we met...ick. He kind of looked like his pics, but his body language and mannerisms were completely different than what I expected. He had a bit of Woody Allen in him, mixed with what I can only describe as a kind of gayness. Don't get me wrong--I love gayness. But I don't want to date it.

3) Crazy Politico. Oh, Crazy Politico. This was one of the worst jdates I've had yet. He seemed so interesting--cultured! Creative! Well-educated! But CP spent much of the date trying to convince me how right the war in Iraq was, then vehemently debated other hot-topic issues trying to convince me how his viewpoint was the only valid one. Finally, after over an hour of moralist diatribes, I asked him honestly and frankly--without malice in my tone of voice, "Is this how you usually are on dates? Because I don't think I can take it." He then said he wanted to burst into tears.

And then he ordered another drink.

Since I didn't feel right saying, "Are you crazy? Can't we just end this!?" I sat there, steering the conversation away from politics and other volatile issues as much as possible for about another half an hour.

Okay--next!?

I'll try to be back on a more regular basis!
You know you love me xoxo
***I just felt like ending on a Gossip Girl note :-) ***

2008-05-16T10:54:00.002-05:00

First--you got it, I'm still asking you to hold your tongues--things may not be over with OS. He said he'd call me to hang out. Let's see if he does. I'm more aware of his flaws now, and I'm further removed from those giddy first couple weeks, so I'm going to see how it feels to date him non-exclusively. If he actually calls, that is.

One or Other? Well, he wasn't as dashing as his best pic--which I expected. But he was also cuter than his worst pics. And so I will call him Between :-) 'Tween and I actually had a very nice date. He told me I looked better in person--definitely a confidence booster--and he seemed to greatly enjoy my company. He's a charming guy, and although he knows it, I think he might also be a decent guy. We had a nice kiss goodnight, he asked if I'd like to go on a second date, and I said I would.

I was feeling nice and even-keeled about him. I wasn't dying for the 2nd date, but it was something to look forward to.

But then he didn't call!

It's only been a few days, but usually the ones who want the 2nd date get in touch a day or two later. I still think he'll call, but--sneaky dude--the fact that he hasn't has me thinking more about him.

So to be continued on the Between front!

2008-05-13T15:54:00.005-05:00

I haven't written lately for a couple reasons.
1) The more something bothers me, the less I tend to talk about it. Not such a good thing, because talking about it usually helps. But it's that initial pain of scratching the wound that I'm really, really bad at. I am Avoidance personified. Cute Annoyance, of course.

2) I'm in one of those spots where I don't want advice. I can't explain why--the instinct isn't coming from my rational self--but when I'm in this stage of not wanting advice, any time I read a comment from someone who thinks they know all the answers or a "Sorry to say this but you need to know" or whatever else comes from good intentions but sounds very know-it-all and, in truth, obnoxious, it makes me angry. Angry isn't fun. So keep your advice to yourself, please, no matter how right you think you are (especially considering how right you think you are), or whatever your intentions may be. And for those who say: Comments shouldn't get to you. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. Depends on the subject and my mood. What should or shouldn't be is rarely what is.

I did meet with Former Shrink one time to talk about Original Sporty. And I think it helped--he opened my eyes to some facts I really knew but hadn't been able to articulate. Such as that OS is very immature, in his actions and the way he deals with his emotions. He's faulted in ways I had chosen to ignore in favor of the really good parts. I am more aware of these flaws now.

Where I left things with OS was this: We said we'd talk things over. I told him I had a feeling I knew what he was going to say--that he didn't think we were compatible in the long-term. I told him I could be up for something more casual, not exclusive. He said that sounded like an interesting proposition, and we'd discuss things.

We never did.

In the way I go about things, I proceeded to stop talking about him. I pushed him out of my mind. Forcefully. He was something painful. And I am Cute Avoidance.

But as is the case with painful things, the unresolved nature of the way we left things--unresolved to me, at least--has kept me from moving on. So I figured, I will write him an email. I'll tell him what I'm thinking. And we'll see how he responds.

I didn't write the email.

For days, I just didn't feel like it. I asked myself why. Was it because if I didn't hear him say "No, I don't want to see you at all anymore," then the possibility of seeing him again existed somewhere in the ether?

Or was it what the Shrink thought? I told him I was scared of writing the email. He asked why. I didn't know. He says: This guy hurt you. He made everything seem like paradise, courted you and wooed you hardcore, and then turned in an instant into something different. What if he says yes? What if he says, yes, let's date casually, while we see other people. But then he creates this wonderful world for you again? Then he can hurt you again.

I found myself in a spot where I was damned if I did, damned if I didn't. If I didn't write the email, I know I'd always think of him as a possibility, no matter what the reality of the situation was. If I did write the email, I might be opening myself up for nothing but more hurt in the future.

I finally wrote the email.

I'm waiting to hear his response.

But in the meantime, I have several Jsuitors. Never fear, I am keeping busy. Tonight I have a date with One or Other. I'm calling him One or Other because of his 4 pics, a couple are just fine, one is reallly good, and one is not so good. So which will he look more like? One or the other?

To be continued, my friends.

Remember--you may be dying to write me your opinoin on the whole Original Sporty situation, in comments or email. I would greatly prefer if you didn't.

--Cute Jewess

2008-05-02T09:02:00.003-05:00

Let's put OS on the table for now, and I'll let you know when and if there are developments.

In the meantime, though, I am keeping busy. With things besides dating, of course, but also with tidbits I can share here.

I met Hair. Oh, Hair. Update your pictures, please. I'm guessing they're at least 5 years old, if not more, and about 20 lbs ago. Besides that, I would not have recognized him. We had a pleasant enough date, and he's successful, with an interesting-to-discuss job, and I enjoyed myself just fine. But when he called the next day to leave a message asking for a 2nd date, I let him know that I just didn't feel the chemistry. I considered going out with him again--since he seems like a good guy--but I decided that I wouldn't try to force it. This time, at least!

There's another dude on the radar, now. One whom I've been emailing with a lot in the past few days. We'll call him Edgy, because he has kind of a hot, bad boy vibe. (I am not looking for a "bad boy," so to speak, I mean this more aesthetically.) We have a lot in common, and so we will see if and when we meet up.

There have been a lot of questions in the comments section--not just recently, but throughout my blogging life--about "What am I looking for?" Well, in the long term, yes, I want to find someone whom I can settle down and created a life with. But in the meantime, I'm satisfied to see where "dating" takes me. I'm not a "just sex only" gal, but I'm also not averse to trying out something casual while at the same time continuing the search for something more lasting. So I'm keeping an open mind as much as possible, hoping to find out what works for me, and what situations I'm okay with, and what situations I'm not okay with.

Even as I hope to find that special someone, it's not like I'm going to be all "Oh my God, we've been dating for two months so now you're my boyyyyfriend." I've said it before: I'm a step-by-step kind of gal. So where I am is this step: Find someone I like to date.

Should we change the name of the blog to Find Cute Jewess A Dude She Likes Dating? :-)

--Cute Jewess

2008-04-27T19:18:00.003-05:00

Just a quick update, since many of you are nice enough to care about what's going on. Things remain in limbo with OS. It's confusing and uncertain right now, so more when I sort some stuff out, talk to him more, and make some decisions. Am I still upset about it? Yes. I haven't been thrown for a loop like this by a guy since college, believe it or not.

But if things do continue with OS, I know we'll be seeing other people. So I reconnected with Hair, from a while back, and we've got a date set up for tomorrow night.

That's part of the beauty of Jdate, I'll admit. When you feel like you really want a date, you can usually get a date.

Hair seems sweet, he's offered to come to my neighborhood (you know how I like that!), and so we'll see...

--Cute Jewess

2008-04-23T09:06:00.003-05:00

Other shoe. Dropped.

After days of barely acknowledging my existence, OS is emailing that we should "have a chat."

We all know what that means.

So now I get to wait some number of hours before finding out his reasons. If he gives me any...

I've cried for him once already. Wonder what the actual end will feel like.

--CJ

2008-04-22T11:10:00.003-05:00

Oy. I'm stuck in the odd position of really not wanting to talk about it. But also having OS on my mind like a weight that won't be shaken. So what to do? I haven't really been talking about it to friends because it feels painful right now, and I tend to avoid painful things.

You may think I'm overreacting, and I probably am, but what can I do? How can I just dismiss feelings that are there whether I want them to be or not?

Just when I think things are entirely over, he throws me a bone. An email. He lost his phone. Contact is hard. But why isn't he emailing me, then, to say if we're having our date this week or not? It's such a neither here nor there excuse, and yet he's also not cutting ties yet. I feel entirely in limbo.

All reason and sense says to just end things. Just let him go myself. It used to be so fun. I was so giddy and happy when he was being so sweet and attentive. It isn't fun right now. I'm not giddy. In fact, I'm feeling rather despairish. Enough to create my own adjectives.

So I know what the logical thing to do is. I know he's not as into me as he once was. I know every bit of advice you could throw at me, and in fact I would probably give it to me myself.

But what can I say? I'm not ready to give him up yet. I'm just not ready yet. And so I'm in a sad, limbo-y, despairish mood right now, wishing so hard that things could go back to the way they were a couple weeks ago.

--Cute Jewess

2008-04-21T16:46:00.002-05:00

At this point, it looks like he's just never going to contact me again. Going to act as if I don't exist. It's a horrible feeling on my end.

--CJ

2008-04-21T10:06:00.003-05:00

I think things will be over soon with OS, but I don't feel like writing much about it right now.

He used to text me just to say "I can't stop thinking about you." This weekend he didn't text me at all. Seems he managed to stop thinking about me.

Will we still have that dinner he promised me this week? Who knows.

I'm in a sucky mood about it, but that's not to be avoided right now, so let's hope it doesn't last long.

--Cute Jewess

2008-04-18T13:01:00.003-05:00

My questions right now are:
1) Will OS text me this weekend?
2) Will we actually follow through on the tentative plans we talked about for next week?

I'm going to work hard on not texting him this weekend. I hope I stick to my guns! It'll be a busy weekend for both, with Passover here. I've got family in town, so I'll hope to be distracted.

I'll be so pleased if he just reaches out to get in touch.

Alright, folks. Good Pesach, good weekends, good weather, good eats, and we'll talk again soon.

--Cute Jewess

2008-04-17T14:14:00.002-05:00

Ugh. So today's stop on the OS Emotional Roller Coaster has me back at a low point. I just get the feeling he's not that into me anymore, and that sucks. He used to text me how much he looked forward to seeing me next, that he missed me, anything cute and flattering and sweet. I feel like those texts are over and done with. But they were what was making me feel so giddy in the first place.

It was such a nice feeling: Look at this hot guy sending me these sweet messages! He likes me! And I like him! How cool is that?

We're both busy until next week, but we talked about trying to squeeze each other in tomorrow for a little bit. In the "old days" (of like a week ago), I feel like he would have worked to fit me in. Now, I'm not so sure. It will depend on both our work schedules, I know, but something tells me it's just not going to happen.

As to Hotness? I'm surprised, I admit, that he's not calling to end things--that he's just doing the "never going to call again" thing. He had been so focused on being gentlemanly--insisting on picking me up for dates rather than meeting me there, not letting me even buy him a drink when I offered. I'm wondering whether I should call him to find out where he went. My gut tells me he met someone else. Also, I'm trying to remember that there were things about him that really turned me off physically, despite the fact that he's a good-looking guy. So on the one hand, I miss him a little. But on the other hand, I know I probably would have ended things with him anyway. So do I call? Or do I let him slip away altogether?

Ugh. I have a feeling OS is going to lead to some tears, folks.

--Cute Jewess

2008-04-16T12:04:00.003-05:00

Ok, I think OS and I are vaguely on the same page. He was pretty stressed out with work stuff last night, and not as affectionate as he was when we first started dating, but he seemed interested enough. He held my hand when we walked down the street. We continued to talk about future plans. We had pretty damn awesome sex. I stayed over his place, and his sweet little dog spent half the night sleeping next to me, snuggling, licking my hand, arm, cheek.

Here's the thing. I think right now both of us are mostly into the physical attraction. He is so hot. Just so friggin' hot. Crazy, I can't believe this guy is with me, hot. HOT. And great in the sack. But we both know--and we're both concerned--that we have very little in common. We enjoy doing some mutual activities, but mostly we're into different things.

And yes, there's the partying. He stays out late at night up to 4-5 days a week. I honestly can't do that, nor do I really want to. But so far he's not asking me to, so we'll see how that goes too. With Passover this coming weekend, I doubt we'll be seeing each other on the partiest of nights anytime in the immediate future. He did, though, offer to take me to this amazing restaurant next week for dinner, which sounds fun.

Know what else!? He's seen me in all my favorite jeans, so I was looking through my jeans drawer for this older pair that I remember being a little too baggy on me, but it was worth a try. I snagged the jeans, shrugged them on, and they fit like a friggin' glove. My legs looked thinner than usual, the jeans were tight but without the muffin top, they looked amazing. Hmmm, I thought to myself. Maybe I'd just washed them and they shrank? But then I realized--this was an entirely different pair of jeans. These were my skinny jeans. My size 3 jeans. I hadn't put them on in over a year.

When I joyfully remarked to OS that I fit into my skinny jeans, he said "That's because you're tiny," and he grabbed my ass.

Hottie.

For now, I'm feeling less panicky, less distraught. And that's all I needed. I won't be thinking "Why isn't he texting!?" or trying to stop myself from texting or emailing him. I'll just be able to go about my day, hearing from him or not, glowing a bit from a night of the best sex I've had in years.

Manageable.

--Cute Jewess

2008-04-15T15:54:00.002-05:00

Nervous!!!

Things with OS at least via text and email have seemed closer to "normal" since last night. I'm seeing him tonight. Oh, I hope things go well!

At the very least, I think I'll have some good sex. I can't shake a stick at that, really, but oy, what if he's not a sweetie anymore? Or what if he's not affectionate with me anymore? I'll just be so in-the-funk about it, I think.

But worrying about that now won't do me any good. So I'll just hope that things are like they were last week, before he got weird.

Interestingly, Hotness has just vanished. I think this is partly my fault. I'm not very good at hiding my feelings--or rather, pretending to feel more than I do--and it's possible he felt my indifference last time I saw him. Or perhaps he met someone else. It saves me the horrible feeling of breaking things off, which is good. Also, I feel like I can always still call him up and reconnect should the urge arise.

Oh, Original Sporty! Cute as anything, makes my stomach plunge Original Sporty! Please be Dr. Sweetness and not Mr. Douche!

--Cute Jewess

2008-04-14T11:37:00.007-05:00

I am feeling very confused right now, and I wonder if blogging will help. I also wonder whether I should turn off the comments for this one. Let me set up a bit first. You know I've been all giddy happy about OS, and I had so forgotten what that feeling was like. How it's so exciting when it's going on--how you feel like you're on the top of the world, just because someone you like so much thinks you're the bomb.com. I haven't felt this mixture of physical attraction and sheer crush giddiness since college. That's a long time. So losing it--for whatever reason, whether it be because the object likes me less or that the object turns out to be not so great--anything that will change it will make me feel very sad.

So, to recap on what happened before yesterday: We start our last date just like always. He's sweet as anything, adorable, complimentary. Then within a couple hours, there's a complete 180 change. Out of the blue. A shocker.

When I saw OS yesterday, I knew it would be at an event. I knew there would be other people there. And so I invited a friend to join--I'll call her Adorable because she is so totally adorable. I knew I wouldn't get to spend much time with OS at the event, but when we'd last parted, I had said to him, "Will I see you afterwards?" and he had said, "Why wouldn't you?" and he had given me one of his sweet adorable little kisses. It had been the only recognizable moment in a few hours. It had given me a glimmer of hope. That maybe when I saw him after the event things would be okay.

I was nervous all during the event. I filled in Adorable on the whole goings-on. At one point OS winked at me from across the room, and Adorable gushed about how cute that was. It was pretty darn cute. Except, oy, the partying again. (I will be the first to admit that he is a man in his mid-to-late 30s who seems to party like he's in his early-to-mid 20s.) When OS finally was able to come over to me and Adorable, we learned he'd gotten no sleep the night before, and so he was exhausted. He needed a nap and said he'd call me later. He wasn't particularly warm. I didn't get the good vibe. Adorable immediately steered us to the nearest bar, where I began to go over every single worst-case scenario. Thank goodness she was there, though, because I think it would have been just miserable to turn everything over in my head without any feedback, without any good company.

Adorable even came home to hang out with me, and we did indeed partake of distracting fun activities, including comparing my jdate profile with her match.com profile. Also she told me about the cute Jewish boy she'd met the other night who was the nicest thing in the world and whom she had to get me to meet sometime. In fact, she kept talking about him, I'm sure to get my mind of OS.

OS did call. Almost the minute he'd woken up from his nap. And it felt more like the old OS. He was cute, flirty, he called me babe. We didn't wind up getting together again that night, but he asked what I was up to this week. I let him know I was mostly free, and he said he'd call or text when he knew what his schedule was like. So will he call/txt/email? Will he follow up and try to see me again? That's the question on the forefront of my mind right now.

I don't know if he's "The one." I wasn't up to that stage yet, not up to that question yet. All I know is that I'm not ready for it to end yet. I'm really not ready for that--and so I'm holding out a glimmer of hope even as I'm so confused. Even as I get one sense from him one moment and another the next. Even as I'm also so worried.

Update: Argh!!! I can't stand the waiting for the phone call. I just feel like he's so over me. And so suddenly and inexplicably! And I hate this feeling, and I just want to curl up in a ball.

Update #2: And I got my phone call. And we have plans set up. And he seems more enthusiastic. And I'm STILL waiting for the other shoe to drop.

--Cute Jewess

2008-04-14T09:02:00.002-05:00

Ack. At this point I'm reading into every text, every sliver of interaction. As in, okay he wrote back right away, but why didn't he use a term of affection? Or okay, he seemed so cute on the phone, and he said he was going to call to see me soon, so will he actually do that? Will he just see me to break up?

This is not productive. It is also not really my style. So I am going to try to take a break from thinking about OS as much as possible right now, and I will fill you in on some of the latest details at a later time--if not today then tomorrow I would think!

--CJ

2008-04-13T11:46:00.003-05:00

Oh man. What to write? This weekend, I saw OS, and all was great at first. But then we went to meet up with his buddies. Now, I've met his buddies before. His buddies love me. In fact, I would spend most of that night talking to his buddies. We'd both been drinking, but I just don't tend to get very drunk. And I think he does. And he's not the most pleasant drunk. Some of the things that were coming out of his mouth just appalled me.

But also, suddenly, it was almost like I wasn't there. Every time I've seen him since our third date, he's been so affectionate. Hugging me, keeping his hand on my leg, giving little kisses. This last time he wouldn't even touch me. So when I put my hand on his back, he said "Wait, are you touchy feely?" I was like, "Dude, you're the touchy feely one." He looked at me like I was nuts. Things just felt awkward, for the first time.

When I told him I was leaving, he pouted. "I'm disappointed," he said. Yeah, you're disappointed because no sex for you, buddy.

One of the things I've really enjoyed about OS is that he doesn't make me feel like I contact him too much. Whenever I text, he's thrilled to hear from me, and responds back right away, usually something cute. If we have plans to see each other, he texts me something like "Lkg fwd to it sweetie." The day after that awkward night, his texts seemed more stilted. When I confirmed our plans, he texted back an "Ok!" instead of a "Lkg fwd."

I have kind of a sick feeling in my stomach. Things might be pretty awkward now, and I dread that. I'm seeing him tonight. What will that be like?

I'm not ready for things to end with OS. I know it's only been about a month, but I've just enjoyed having him around so much. I've enjoyed feeling giddy about him. I've enjoyed his cute as all hell smile, his hugs, just hanging out. I don't fall in "like" this hard very often at all.

As for Hotness? I had fully planned to call him up and end things the day after I was to see OS. But then OS was dickish (we won't yet upgrade his dickishness to douchiness), and so I didn't. But I think things will end with Hotness anyway, in its own time. He used to call and text all the time, and now he's not contacting me very often. And that's fine. I like hanging out with him, but I don't feel much of an emotional connection.

So what will tonight be like with OS? Will he end things? Will things be awkward? Will he be his old self again? Or will he continue to appall me?

I may be very sad tomorrow folks!

--Cute Jewess

2008-04-10T12:25:00.002-05:00

I just had the urge to tell my mom about Original Sporty. Ironically, despite this here HEY, LOOK AT MY LIFE! blog, I'm a very private person. Especially with my parents. The FAF was the first boyfriend I let them meet. I didn't tell my mom about him until we'd been dating about 3 months. The folks met him after almost 6 months. And they're just a subway ride away. I did not tell mom about OS, and I will not--it's too early.

It's been about three weeks with OS, but things feel like they're progressing swiftly. I've seen him 5 times already, and we have plans for our 6th & 7th time. He says I give him goosebumps. How cute is that? And yes, now we've had sex. Mmm, he's good. He says I'm amazing. I mean, so far, things are going well enough to make me nervous about how well they're going! He's pretty much the height of adorableness.

As to Hotness? Oh, Hotness. See, I saw him recently--before the sex with OS--and I had every intention of ending things. But...he's so, so sweet. And so, so cute. And I hadn't seen him in a while, and he said he missed me, and he was just so adorable. So I figured, hey, neither of the dudes has said anything about being exclusive. And I emailed Single (my single dude friend) for advice, and he said that if you're meeting someone online, it's often assumed you're seeing other people at least at first...so...I figured I wouldn't be doing the greatest sin by dating them both for a wee while longer.

Except, last night, OS implied that he assumed I wasn't seeing other people. Well, there you go. I don't want to fuck things up with him. So despite the fact that I like Hotness too, I know I like OS more. But this is just gutting! Hotness has been expressing that he's really into me for a while now. And he has no idea that I might be anything less so. I don't say this out of hubris, just to reiterate that it makes it harder to break up with someone when you know they really like you. And what am I supposed to say? Hey, I like you dude, but there's this other dude I like more? I'm honestly at a loss as to how to do this.

Wish me luck, on all fronts!

--Cute Jewess

2008-04-07T09:34:00.003-05:00

Oh, Original Sporty. I've been calling him "My Crush" because of the giddy feeling I've had about him. I felt I didn't know him well enough to upgrade to "like." But we hung out twice this weekend, and he is such a doll. We've got plans for a 5th date. Things are starting to get more--I can't use the word serious, more like "real." Also, I am thrilled to report that he has skills. Great heaps of skill. I have not had sex with him, but we did some other stuff. He is GREAT at the other stuff.

Of course this leaves poor Hotness rather in the dust. I hate this part. There's no reason I shouldn't be in total crush with him too--but I'm not. And so I'll have to end things.

This might be a weird story, but it's a partial revelation, and so I will share. Since I've been single again, pretty much every dude I've dated has mentioned my body. As in, it's sexy, it's good, etc. In my head, I know that all it takes for some dudes to think that is for you to be at a certain weight. I figured my smaller size was tricking them into not seeing my flaws. That my breasts aren't large enough, my legs not long enough, my shoulders not slender enough. Don't get me wrong--the fact that they said this gave me confidence to an extent, and yes, it made me feel attractive. But last night with OS was perhaps the first time I completely agreed. OS can't say enough that he thinks I'm sexy. (Let me interject that he also says sweet and smart!) He has a mirror in his bedroom, and I saw myself in bra and panties. Maybe it was the lighting, or who knows, but I was like--hey, he's totally right! I've never been able to completely agree before when a dude says that, so it was a good feeling.

You know what else was a good feeling? Everything OS was doing. GOOD feeling!

2008-04-03T13:00:00.003-05:00

I've been kind of swoony over OS this past week, largely in disproportion to what it should be, I think. We squeezed each other into our schedules another time, and he's just so adorable. He's got this cheerful, happy smile. Since I saw him, he's been texting and emailing me often. About how he needs to see me again soon, little things about our days, that he thinks I'm cute. We tried to meet up again, but my schedule got too busy. He left me a sweet little note saying "Miss you."

But we didn't get much time to hang out our 2nd time 'round. We don't really know each other that well yet. So for now, I'll just take it as a fun little flirtation with a sweet, cute guy, and see what happens.

Last night I also got to hang out with the FAF (among others), and it was just great. I'll always have caring feelings for him, if not Love with the capital L. We're starting to talk about our separate dating lives, and it's just fine. I mentioned Original Sporty (as a "crush"), and he was supportive. On his side, this chick is treating him poorly, and I just want to say to her--this guy is great! Be nicer to him! I may have broken his heart, but I was always considerate to him, and I never tried to hurt him!

Hotness? Well, Hotness is still in the picture. I'll probably see him this weekend. But considering that I don't have the same giddy feeling toward him that I do toward OS, I think I'll probably cut ties soon.

--Cute Jewess

2008-03-31T12:24:00.002-05:00

Original Sporty couldn't be sweeter. He's sending me cute little emails, leaving me adorable voicemail messages. He's gone out of his way to fit me into his schedule and fit himself into mine, so we'll see how that goes!

As to my schedule? It's kind of...booked. The whole week. Which means although Hotness would like to see me, that won't happen until the weekend. When I'm lukewarm about a guy, I usually need about 5 dates to know how I truly feel--on average--so we'll see about him as well.

On another note, a friend of mine has a lake-side cabin, and he's invited a group of friends to come for the weekend this summer. How fun! We are promised S'mores, canoeing, beautiful walks, and all with a group of people I really like. The date is set, and I think it'll be a blast! I will be bringing 300 lbs of bug spray, fyi.

--Cute Jewess

2008-03-27T20:59:00.002-05:00

I'm going to call the new guy--the one I finally talked to on the phone--Hair, because he has slightly longer hair than the guys I usually date. We had a perfectly nice little convo, and he's supposed to get in touch to schedule a date.

As to the other guys? Both Original Sporty and Hotness threw me a bone. One figurative, the other literal. OS texted a cute little hello, even though he's out of town, so I will hope that he calls this weekend. Still, I'm not sure my hopes can be very high with that one.

As to Hotness? Oy. This is where I get terrified that the dude will find the blog. Because...well, I'd like to talk openly. But I'd never tell any of this to him in a million years. First of all, some of you may remember the Great Jewish Penis Debate of '07. (I still get comments from Jew dudes bragging about their members. As in "I'm short, but my penis isn't!" Okay, homey.) This latest specimen? Eh. A bit disappointing, I can't lie. I didn't intend to have sex with Hotness on the third date. But we did. It's just been so long! And he is a nice guy. The last dude, you may remember, was Big Smile. Oh, Big Smile. He was perhaps the best kisser I've ever kissed, and perhaps the prettiest, largest penis I've ever seen. We were very physically compatible. He just happened to turn out to be a douchebag in nice guy clothing. And I get along with douches like vinegar and water. Ba-dum-dum.

But back to Hotness, and the juicy details. It was...okay. My world was not rocked. Something's missing. Just overall, something's missing. This is not your average "nice guy." You wouldn't think it to look at him--he's stylish, sexy, street smart, edgy. In all truth, he's kind of a nice guy in douchebag clothing. But I like that. It's not that--oh, he's into me, so it's not a challenge, blah, blah. I like that too! In fact, I'm probably still going to see him because he's such a good guy. But we don't have very much in common, and even if we did, we don't talk that much. For one, he's very handsy. Very into kissing and grabbing me all the time. I'm more into saving that for private time. OH! AND! Twice he pressed his ear against my lips. Homeslice, I am not licking your ear. Period. The end. No ear licking.

I get the sense Hotness isn't rushing to date other women while he's seeing me. But he hasn't said anything about being exclusive, or me not seeing other guys. For now, I'm having enough of a good time to go on a 4th date with him. That's all I know right now. That, and also I'd like the sex to be better. Yeah, I know that too.

But hey, it could happen!

--Cute Jewess

2008-03-26T11:13:00.002-05:00

Hmmm, OS is sending quite mixed signals. On the one hand, he keeps telling me that he'd love to see me again. On the other hand, he pretty much forgot our tentative plans. He's now on a business trip, but he promises--with all sorts of exclamation points--to call when he returns. At this point I'm not expecting much, but if we do in fact meet again, I will be happy about it.

In the meantime, Hotness couldn't be more attentive. We've got another date planned for this week. I like him, and I'm glad to be hanging out with him, but I don't feel much of an emotional connection at this point. Still, if we enjoy each others' company, that's all we need for now, no? It's not like he's asking me to stop seeing other people or anything. I think he's content to just see where it goes, as am I. Third date...wonder if there will be some friskiness. He does have a hard time keeping his hands off me, and I haven't been discouraging him.

There's...just one thing...see...on one of our dates, he did something that pretty much grossed me out of town. He stuck his tongue in my ear. If he had seen my face, he would have seen literal revulsion. I am gagging now to think of it. I sincerely hope he does not do that again. But if he does? How to gently say: Good Lord, get your friggin' tongue out of my ear canal, ew, ew, ew?

Quite a busy week coming up! So far I have plans next week from Monday through Thursday. I'm not sure when OS expects me to squeeze him in, should he actually call. See gentlemen? Snoozy losey.

--Cute Jewess

2008-03-24T11:57:00.002-05:00

The last 2 times OS and I emailed, I initiated the conversation. He wrote right back and seemed happy to hear from me, but now we had tentative plans to meet either tonight or tomorrow...and I haven't heard anything about it.

I want to email just to see what's up, but I can't, right? Because I keep initiating! So I'm sitting on my hands hoping he checks in. Sigh.

I really want to see him again too!

--Cute Jewess

2008-03-22T14:41:00.002-05:00

At the moment, I think I'm at a good spot with Hotness. For one, he would return the nickname. He thinks everything about me is hot, and hey, I'm not about to start arguing with the dude. My intelligence? Hot. Body? Hot. Clothes? Hot. Hair? Hot. Job? Hot. I pretty much make him hot, period. Ain't nothing wrong with that.

So what do I think about him? I still want a chance to see that cut torso of his, I won't lie. Personality-wise, he's so far from my usual type. Not even a little bit dorky. But he's just so sweet. He's considerate, gentlemanly, fun to be around. For now, that's all I'm asking for. I've never been very good at thinking to the future, but if I know I want to see the dude again, at this point--isn't that all I need to know?

There was lots of kissing on the 2nd date. And, in truth, it felt more like a 3rd date. For our actual 3rd date, he's planning something really considerate--taking me to a place that's high on my list of interests. He's already called me today. We give him a thumbs up for dating etiquette and overall good guy-ness.

As to Original Sporty? I do wish he'd finalize our plans for next week. I'd very much like to see him again too. I initiated a couple email exchanges, and although he seemed happy to hear from me, and kept responding right away, I won't initiate the next one. The ball's in your court, buddy!

There's a new dude, too! I'm supposed to give him a call this weekend. He seems--on his profile, at least--like a cool guy. On the one hand, I'm thinking--juggling 3 guys? Really?? But on the other, anyone who has online dated before knows that it can really be feast or famine. Who knows--in 2 weeks I could be down to 0 dudes again. So for now, I'm just going to go with the flow and leave the worrying behind as much as possible.

--Cute Jewess

2008-03-21T15:40:00.003-05:00

Both boys continue to be attentive. Adorable Original Sporty uses exclamation points to greet me in his emails. Hotness has called twice. So far...well, so far, it is what it is. I don't tend to read into little actions, but it's nice to know that at this point, at least, both guys still seem intrigued.

Tonight I'll get to spend more time with Hotness. I'm curious to see how it will go! Will I continue to be into him now that OS is in the picture? Will our 2nd date go as well as the first?

Then tomorrow will be a super fun party where I will happily see Best Friend, among others. There should be dancing, mingling, and late-night carousing. Oy, I'll need a nap to prepare.

--Cute Jewess

2008-03-20T10:54:00.002-05:00

It seems like there will be definite 2nd dates with both HOTNESS and Original Sporty, but I've learned that nothing in dating is definite. In the meantime, I'm going around with this giddy feeling, all happy grin-like, thinking of these 2 great guys.

One of them has been texting, the other emailing. OS has sent really fun emails, in part telling me that he thinks I'm awesome. While flattering, this has also triggered some insecurity. Don't get me wrong. If you've been reading this here blog for a while, you know I think I'm a catch! But you may have also realized that hot, successful, great-seeming dudes bring out my insecurities. As in, but if he's so great, and if he can have anyone, why me?

Basically, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm waiting for the 2nd dates to happen, for them to not go as well, and for the dudes to stop being so attentive. Mostly I feel this way with OS. Somehow I feel like I've tricked him into thinking I'm way awesomer than I am. He just seems so perfect. He's really attractive (Best Friend and LV have seen pics and they agree!), he's not a serial-dater, and in fact seems to be a serial-relationship dude, he wants kids within the next few years, he has pets, he has a good job, he's close with his family. He just seems like a great guy.

So my head's going a bit like: He'll find out I'm not into outdoorsy sports like he is, and he'll get bored of me. He'll realize we don't have that much in common, and he'll stop finding me so interesting. He'll still think I'm funny, because, duh, but we'll run out of things to talk about. The connection just won't be there. Blah, blah, blah.

If I had to choose right this second, I'd probably choose OS. With Hotness, at the moment, it's more physical. Which isn't to say he's not a good guy, just that he's less my usual type. OS just seems like a dream--he has so many of the things that I'm looking for. Don't get me wrong, though--I want to keep dating both of them for as long as I can.

I just keep thinking that won't be very long...

--Cute Jewess

2008-03-19T09:54:00.002-05:00

Hi! So...let's start with the story you've been following.

HOTNESS seemed so gung ho on our date about scheduling another, about calling me, etc. And then he started texting. He emailed to ask when I'm free next. And then he vanished. I mean, it hasn't been long, so it's not technically vanishing yet, but it follows a pattern that both Loverville and I have noticed--When the dude is totally eager and excited right from the start, it usually peters out pretty quickly. Just not...this quickly!

Ok, nevermind. He called to confirm as I was writing this entry, and he's a doll. But still, he could vanish any day! So, date set with sweet, funny, street-smart, sexy HOTNESS this weekend. He's looking forward to it, as am I.

But in the meantime, we've got another cute-as-anything, sweet, delightful guy on the list now. Original Sporty! We heart OS! He's got one of the best smiles I've seen on a dude, and he's already emailed that he's looking forward to another date. He's quite different than Hotness, but nothing's wrong with that. He seems ready for an actual girlfriend, not just dating around. He wants kids, has pets that he adores. What's not to like there? We had a pretty chaste kiss goodnight, but that can be remedied next time :-)

Interestingly, both Hotness and OS are new to Jdate, so for both of them, I'm one of their first dates. Maybe this is why they both actually told me "You look just like your pictures." But you know what? That's a relief! Because I've never been sure that I didn't just put up really flattering pics, and then in person perhaps have disappointed.

Because I'm picky-slash-careful, it's been AGES since I've had me some loving. To now have two hot men on the possible roster? Gives a girl reason to smile, eh?

--Cute Jewess

2008-03-18T11:05:00.002-05:00

Jupdate!

No call from HOTNESS. However, email from Hotness, asking when I am free again. I suggested a day (via email), so we'll see what happens. Dude, just pick up the phone. Still at this point, all I know is that I'm very physically attracted to him. We'll see if this goes anywhere beyond that.
Tonight's date confirmed with Original Sporty whom, if nothing else, likes animals and seems easy on the eyes. Not expecting much, but then, I wasn't really with Hotness either.
There's another dude I've been chatting with who seems pretty cool, and whose personality seems to be a good match for my own. But I realized something after he provided me with his last name, I googled him (duh, of course), and I found more pics of him online. He looks kinda like the FAF. Not sure what to think about that...

--Cute Jewess

2008-03-17T13:05:00.005-05:00

I know I like a guy when I save his texts only to reread them and get a happy little tingle. Hotness texted that he'd call me tonight, so we shall see if he does indeed. Not that I'll be around--I have plans with Brill and maybe Best Friend too, and so Hotness will have to chat with my voicemail. The thing is, this is a busy week. I've kinda got no time for him. Tomorrow's another date, and Wednesday is a totally fun outing with a group of friends to plan a lovely weekend vacation in the woods by a lake--can I please get a tan? There should be canoeing too! Either Thursday or Friday may be free, but not both, so I will hope.

Ages ago I was corresponding with a dude I named Sporty. Since then, I've called one of my girlfriends Sporty (oops), and so original Sporty needs a new name. Because he's back. From outer space. I just walked in(box) to find him there with...you get the picture. I fear I have little in common with Original Sporty, but we are supposed to go out tomorrow night, and I don't think it'll be a bad time. I'm corresponding with a couple other guys, too, so I'm not too worried about focusing all my j-attention on Hotness. It's possible I've been focusing a little mental attention on his amazing biceps. I do so love a good bicep.

Oh, I never reported back on Conan, did I? Single and I had a grand time. The show was a lot of fun, Conan is adorable in person and does a fun little warm up with the crowd. I got a free "Audience Member" Late Night t-shirt, and our seats were pretty close up. Neat! I did not get to meet our favorite associate producer, Jordan Schlansky, but I sent him a thank you email for an all around fun afternoon, and he sent a lovely little note back. We heart him.

So the question of today seems to be: Will Hotness actually call? I think yes--but then, it ain't like I haven't been wrong before.

--Cute Jewess

P.S. Awww, Hotness is sending me texts just because. If nothing else, I guess I've crossed his mind today!

PPS: Update: Nothing! No call. I'm not up in arms about it, but he did seem so adamant. So it's like--just say, "I'll call you," not "I'll call you at this specific time and if not that time then this other time."

2008-03-16T14:11:00.004-05:00

I've had 2 dates since I last wrote: Zoolander, and a new guy whom you'll meet after a fun story!

Loverville and I rarely overlap with the same dudes on Jdate. 1) We have different taste in men, 2) There's a small age difference which affects our search results--so we only overlap in searched jdudes by about a 5-year range.

However, recently we were walking and talking and she told me about a new jdude she'd been chatting with, and we had both had a similar experience. "He says he's from New York," she said exasperatedly, "but then it turns out he lives in the suburbs!" And I finished her thought for her: "But they're all, 'I work in the city, my friends are all in the city, blah blah blah.'" We had a good laugh about it. Oh, those lying suburban dudes.

Turns out we had both been talking about the same guy, Zoolander. He was one of the guys I've been talking to for ages, and Loverville had started talking to him too. They had a lunch date set. A lunch date set for the same day as my drinks date with the same guy. For a while, it looked like Loverville and I were going to date the same guy on the same day. By sheer coincidence.

Pretty far out, no?!

Honestly, once our date was set, Zoolander and I had a 2nd phone convo that made me pretty sure I didn't want to meet the guy anymore. But how to give up the fun of being able to say "Where do you go to lunch? Oh, my friend LV loves that place!" Or to have her say something like "Soooo, what are you up to tonight?" At the last minute, though, LV had to cancel her date with Zoolander, so there went our hilarious coincidence. And so starts the unpleasant part of the story!

Later, Loverville would ask me: Was he cute? And he was pretty cute, not bad. But definitely at least an inch shorter than he had said in his profile (isn't that always the way!?). From the beginning, he was very complimentary. He said I looked nice and seemed "very sophisticated." Now for me, "sophisticated" is that kind of distant politeness I fall into when I know a dude's not right for me. At some point this dude, who had seemed perfectly nice, if a bit on the annoying side, started telling a story. A racist story. Complete with derogatory accents. He was shocked when I didn't think this was the greatest story ever. In fact, at the end of the date he kept saying "It's a great story!" He then tried to kiss me goodnight. I gave him my cheek. So he tried again. Nu-uh, homey! I'm pretty sure I gave him the impression never to call me again.

Fast forward to my 2nd date of the week, with the new guy. I emailed him first, he emailed back soon after, and we had a back and forth of about 5 or 6 emails. When he asked me out before asking for my phone number, I figured Hey, why not. Can't be as bad as Racist Zoolander! So I took the risk. I dated the dude without talking on the phone first. Would I learn another lesson!?

When I saw the new guy, though, I was pleased. He was more attractive than his pics, and I confess I will call him HOTNESS. He is hot. Period. I'm thinking even Best Friend and Loverville, who've got different taste than my own, would have to agree. I'm pretty sure I was more physically attracted to him than any other jdate yet. He had these full lips, and when he'd take a drink, they'd get all shiny, and I kept thinking--I'd like to kiss those lips, please!

He's not my usual type. He's not the intellectual dork, the funny goofy cutie. He's built, but not too built. Tall, but not too tall. And he's a mover and a shaker. He works in a very connections-based business, much more people-smart than book-smart. But so what. He seems nice, gentlemanly, strong-willed perhaps, but not unreasonable. If I had to guess, I'd say he's a good guy.

We wound up sitting side-by-side, and HOTNESS would casually touch my shoulder or my leg, saying "Sorry," when he did, as if he'd crossed a boundary. But when I didn't look too upset, he got more bold. He put his arm around me, and gave an almost boyish giggle that was pretty cute. And yes, there was kissing.

He said he had a great time, and he's already texted me since the date. He promises to call to schedule another. God, I can't remember the last time I had a 2nd date! This is one I would look forward to. He seems like the kind of guy who'll call when he says he's going to call.

I'm not going to lie--I wanna see that shirt off, my friends.

Oh! And I almost forgot! To add to the week of coincidences, HOTNESS asked me out to the same place I'd gone with Racist Zoolander! So when we got there, the bartender was like, "Weren't you guys here last week?" I widened my eyes and shook my head. "No, I don't think so!" If I had been able to corner the bartender without HOTNESS there, I would have eased his confused expression with a quick "Yeahhhh, different guy." But the moment never arrived :-)

--Cute Jewess

2008-03-10T19:30:00.006-05:00

This week will be my exciting journey to see Conan O'Brien, care of our favorite Associate Producer, Jordan Schlansky. I'm bringing my dude friend, Single, who can be a blast to hang out with and who very much enjoys live comedy. Often he has crazy stories, featuring lunatic dating antics, so I will plan to be amused on all fronts. Single is one of my few guy friends whom I feel I can run anything by for the male perspective. Although I'm not sure he'd relish this description, he's like my dude girl-friend. But in case I ever divulge this blog to him, I will also add: My what guns you have, Single. We can obviously see that you work out.

*****

I can't help but bring this item to you, despite the fact that I enjoy neither Sanjaya nor Long Island bat mitzvahs. I usually find The Idol quite annoying, but how can you not be tickled by this recent Newsday headline? "Former 'Idol' Contestant Sanjaya Performs at Woodbury Bat Mitzvah." But if that isn't enough to touch your fancy, get a load of the photo caption, "Sanjaya Malakar gives a hug to Rachel Lader of Woodbury after they both get their hair cut and styled at nuBest Salon and Spa in Manhasset."

My fave part is this scintillating graph: "He did sit back as his famous hair was handled by at least three stylists including Jamie Mazzei, who trimmed 2 1/2 inches and worked with a razor to 'accentuate the natural curl.' Stylist Glen Davis tried out a version of Malakar's "faux hawk," but Malakar's publicist nixed it, saying it was 'old Sanjaya.' He left with a classic free-floating mane courtesy of salon owner Michael Mazzei."

Clearly Long Island's finest thirteen-year-olds deserve better than "old Sanjaya." I thank Newsday for its detailed reporting.

(And, okay fine, the girl gets kudos for donating her gifts to charity.)

--Cute Jewess

2008-03-07T15:28:00.003-05:00

Does this make me a bad person?
Often on the Jdate, I'll get an email from a dude who is so much less attractive (or so much older, or all Beardy McWeirdy) than I am, that I can't help but think right off the bat: "Really? You think we're going to date? On what planet?"

I know, how bitchy does that sound? Honestly, this says more about how unattractive the dudes are than how attractive I may be. And yes, at heart I do believe in the "What's to lose" mentality and think that people shouldn't be shy about emailing others on dating websites. But still, sometimes I just feel like, come on now!

Wanna hear about my new bag? I went outlet shopping with my aunt, and I desperately needed one thing: A going-out bag. I have none. Mine are all too big. The bag would have to be petite, hot, and easily carried at the bar. Also, cheap. Very cheap. First I found one at Target that would do if it had to. It was a faux-leather black clutch with a wrist-band. It was good enough (eh, it's dark at these bars), and only about 14 bucks, so I got it. But then at one of the outlets, I saw this other bag. It was like the angels were singing to me. This bag had the kind of handle I like, was the perfect size, sleek and hot, and there was one left in butter soft black leather (the others were purple and white leather, ew). My aunt and I went to return the first cheap0 Target purse, and I became the happy owner of my perfect new going-out bag at the sweet outlet discount price of $30.

Happy girl am I.
--Cute Jewess

2008-03-06T17:33:00.002-05:00

Whirlwind, whirlwind, whirlwind! That's how I'll describe the next couple weeks. Lots of plans invovled! When to schedule the three dates I've got waiting? I've reached out to 2 of the 3 guys to see if they want to reschedule, so we'll see how that goes.

Boy have I gotten out of shape. Tonight will be my first gym class in a while, and if recent physical activity is any indicator, oh my God I am going to be dying. I expect to lose my entire store of breath within the first 10 minutes.

Saturday night will be out with Loverville (hmmm, maybe I can persuade Best Friend to come out too), so let's hope for some juicy stories to report.

--Cute Jewess

2008-02-21T13:19:00.002-05:00

A hot clip of former Cute Jew of the Week, Mark Ronson. He's the dude on the double guitar.

I think Ronson and his British accent are sexy as hell, but I imagine he's too cool to be my type in "real life." Still, it's not like I wouldn't want to find out :-)

2008-02-20T16:38:00.003-05:00

Dashing Jordan has, indeed, secured a ticket for me to see Conan O'Brien. Just because I enjoyed a clip he was in on the show. Thus, he has secured a spot on the Cute Jewess Walk of Fame. And by "Walk of Fame," I of course mean "Metaphoric Roster of Awesomeness."

The next couple weeks I will largely be away from the blog, to return in early March. When I'm less busy, I will have 3 dates to schedule. Let's give them names, shall we? First, we have Sweet Divorce. I quite like this one. We've spent about an hour on the phone, and he seems cute, smart, and funny. He did have to cancel a previous date, which he could have seemed a bit more sorry about, but it takes more than that to ruffle feathers.

Next is Negative. I'll call him that only because he seems to react to certain things...well...on the negative side. Decent, funny, and certainly cute enough to meet and hang out with for a night, but I'm not sure this one will be fodder for the long term.

Lastly will be Zoolander. He seems like an absolute sweetheart, but there's one catch. Sigh. On our first phone conversation, he mispronounced my name. I corrected him, and thought nothing more of it. Until he started doing it again. And again. Each time it gets under my skin, but I already made kind of a thing the first time about explaining how it was pronounced. How will this thrilling cliffhanger of a situation be resolved? You'll just have to tune in to find out.

One last thing--I wonder if sometimes it's during times of adversity that we realize exactly how much we love our friends. A good friend is going through a very tough time right now, and I hope she knows how much I love her.

--Cute Jewess

2008-02-18T21:31:00.003-05:00

Soliciting your funny shit.
I know enough people who could use a laugh right now, so why not come here looking for one? What's your favorite web funny? A site, a video, a blog, a story, anything at all. If it makes you laugh? Share in comments. If it makes you guffaw and snarf all unpretty-like? Then truly, do not hold back.

I will think of mine too and add to comments when I'm hit by the haha revelation.

--Cute Jewess

2008-02-14T14:23:00.002-05:00

Some updates for y'all:

A Jdate dude whom I'm supposed to meet soon called today to wish me a Happy Valentine's Day. I thought that was pretty sweet of him, and I will say he seems like a nice guy and quite fond of CJ. I was going to name him VD because of Valentine's Day, but that moniker doesn't seem entirely fair to the dude, now does it?
I found out recently that my dude friend Single's relative is close friends with a former Cute Jew of the Week. I won't say which one, so don't you go digging. I informed Single that he needed to email his relative and tell him all about the adorable, smart, funny chick he's known and loved for years. Single has informed me that he's asked if the Cute Jew is currently single and looking. I very highly doubt anything will come of this, but hey, why not try?
I responded to Adorable Jordan's email, and to his offer for tickets to Conan O'Brien. Will he really hook CJ up to see the show? Because that would be tremendous. I've always wanted to see Late Night in person but never thought I could get tix. If this indeed happens, then Adorable Jordan has to be one of the nicest people out there. And I will have some fun blogging to do. Especially considering that NBC is shipping Conan out to LA next year, it would be something special to catch him in NYC before we lose him.

--Cute Jewess

2008-02-14T02:01:00.005-05:00

I've been gone for a while, I know, and in the meantime, you've all been so sweet with your well-wishes. So thank you; it is certainly appreciated. And...I'm doing a little better, but oh, I'm still feeling the loss. I will be for a while. The two reasons I haven't written yet about what happened? 1) I knew it would make me bawl all blubbery-like. 2) I worry that if you haven't been through something similar--or had a similar attachment--you won't understand.

So I had plans to write this whole thing about how much I loved him, how I looked forward to waking up to him every day, going to sleep with him every night, chatting with him after the shower, cuddling on the couch, sharing a happy purr, sweeping him up for a warm, furry hug.

For now, I don't think I can do him justice, so we'll go with the very short version. My kitty passed. Very suddenly. If you know me in "real life," you know how much I loved that creature. He was a truly special, funny, loving little dude. I was just utterly devastated. I miss him terribly.

But some lighter, more enjoyable moments have followed. Three good, dear, thoughtful friends (including Best Friend and Loverville) chipped in to get me that beautiful necklace I'd been coveting!! I've worn it every day so far. I luurrrrrve it. It's so preeeettttty. What a lovely thing for them to have done.

And guess what else? Remember my new "I don't know you in real life" crush? The beguiling Jordan Schlansky? Guess who sent me a thank you email for my kind words. How sweet and cute is that? We heart him with utter fondness.

--Cute Jewess

2008-02-03T16:19:00.001-05:00

I'm coping with some bad news. Not especially well. I'll blog about it when I can.

2008-01-30T19:51:00.001-05:00

Some recent funnies:

Today I was reaching for my olive oil to saute with, when I noticed it wasn't there. After a search around my kitchen, I remembered. The olive oil was sitting on the bathtub rim. I had heard more than once that shaving your legs with olive oil leaves them softer than using soap. Recently, I put this theory to the test, shaving one leg using olive oil and the other soap. I did not enjoy the oil shave. Afterwards, both legs looked and felt the same. Plus, I had to spend time finding my oil in order to saute. Not great.

Speaking of soap. The other day, I was in my bathroom when I noticed it smelled like cat pee--unusually strongly. I figured I had recently cleaned the litter box, and so molecules of kitty pee must have saturated the air somehow. I sprayed my lovely Bath and Body Works room deodorizer spray and thought nothing more of it. Except, the next time I was in the bathroom, it still smelled like pee. I went about my business, washing my hands, and that's when I realized. My mother had given me a bar of aromatherapy soap she'd gotten in some hotel. "It smells like vanilla," she told me. Obviously, she had never actually unwrapped it. I don't know what soap maker thinks that cat pee is a therapeutic smell, but I must disagree with him or her.
I do not love my new soap that smells like pee.

--Cute Jewess

2008-01-24T13:48:00.002-05:00

As I've mentioned before, I'm not a particularly religious Jew. I was Bat Mitzvahed, yes, but raised entirely reform. As in, if I'm going to eat barbecue, I say pass the pork ribs please, extra spicy! And after these past High Holy Days, I wonder if I will continue to go to services even once a year until I have a family. Also, I don't have many Jewish friends who understand the Yiddishisms that pop out of my mouth now and again--something passed down by my parents, who do so way more often than I. So while I consider Jewishness a significant part of my identity, it's just not a huge part of my daily life. This will be simplifying things, but to me, Jewish says: My family is loud, but they'll feed you enough!

Recently, I found a jewelry website, Satya Jewelry, that I just adore. On it, I found this necklace.
I'm not going to lie--I was initially attracted by the aesthetic, which fits my necklace preferences--gold, delicate, small multi-charm, and not too long--although I would prefer and probably ask for a 16" length chain instead of 18".

I got to thinking, though. Would I ever wear a Jewish star? And I think that yes, I would enjoy keeping that reminder of my Jewishness close to heart. It often feels quite far away to me. When the purse strings are less tight, I think I'll save up for this pretty little thing.

Part of my newfound--and perhaps brief--Jewtriotism must have to do with recently watching PBS's totally interesting The Jewish Americans series. If you haven't seen it, I recommend catching reruns; I only caught the last 2 installments, so I'll be looking for them myself. But having a readily available chunk of American history told through a Jewish perspective in such an accessible form certainly opened my eyes. Did you know that Henry Ford was buddies with Hitler!? I didn't! I don't want to try to describe the series because I fear I won't do it justice, so I hope you'll check it out, whatever background you're from--it's a fascinating look at a piece of shared American history.

Tonight I'll be going to a party with lots of good (goy) friends, as I will be tomorrow. Yay!

--Cute Jewess

2008-01-23T13:42:00.000-05:00

Do you remember several months ago when I told you about my Frenemy? Well, she's back. She's emailing me like her big freak out and our fight never happened. First she included me in a group happy New Year email, which I just ignored. But now she's writing to me specifically, starting "Hey CJ!" as if we've been buddy buddy all this time.

Part of me knows it would be very easy to avoid talking about the conflict and just say, "Ok, we'll be on speaking terms again now," but I don't think that'll make me feel good. I need to at least talk about what happened if I'm to have any relationship with this woman. I was hurt, and very angry. She's so immature and sensitive, though, that I don't know if talking about it would be a possibility. I have not particularly missed her friendship, but we do have friends in common, and hanging out all together in the future will be likely. I can't see her and just pretend all is normal.

So, I'm thinking what I have to do is write her back, briefly, that I can't just ignore what happened, and I'd like to talk about it not on email. Of course, I don't particularly want to talk about it with her. How do you tell someone, Hi, I think you resent me and are just waiting for any chance to blow up at me, and what you did was really shitty even if you don't think so?

Should I just ignore her? Try to talk to her even though I know we will never be actual friends again no matter what? For now, I'll let it lie. I haven't got the time in my day right now to deal with her mishigas (Yiddish for annoying craziness).

--Cute Jewess

2008-01-21T22:16:00.000-05:00

Methinks my mojo may be mogone. I've been having less luck on the jdate lately. Either guys aren't writing me back or, in the case of the last 2 who wrote back and seemed totally interested, they just vanish. I do know that the jdate luck goes in peaks and valleys, but I'm ready for a good date one of these days. It's been a while since I was excited about a dude.

Ha. A story: I was at a bar with Loverville one recent night, when she says quietly into my ear, "I know that guy from someplace. Is he on Jdate?" I could only see the guy in profile, which didn't look familiar. "I don't know him," I said. Until a friend of Loverville's brought the guy over. "This is Persistent," she said (well, she used his name, but duh). "He knows he knows you two from somewhere, but can't place where." Instantly, I recognized him. He had hotlisted me, flirted with me, and tried to IM me. And when that didn't work, he just kept "viewing me" every so often. Yup, he was a Jdater. And he'd viewed me enough times that I was sure that at least for me, he knew that's how he recognized me. I'm figuring it's the same for LV.

Later, LV would email me "When I was first talking to him, it looked like you were trying to hide yourself in your drink -- I was thinking, nice try, [CJ], you're going to have to reveal your face at some point!!! ;-)" Indeed, LV was her usual gracious, warm, chatty self. I, on the other hand? Was on the colder side. It's just that if it were me--as it once was, in fact, when I saw a Jdate dude in a bar and knew he'd already not written me back--I'd be practical about the fact that it's just a no-go. (About that, Sporty said that dude had been eyeing me most of the night and I should go over and introduce myself. But come on, he didn't email me back. If he wanted to meet me at the bar, he could come on over his own self.) Anyway, when I finally couldn't avoid Persistent any longer, we had a brief conversation. He exaggerated his reaction to everything I said, as if to telegraph "Look how surprised I am at what you do! I did not at all read it in your profile!" I excused myself to the bathroom, he got the picture, and he went back to his friends.

Afterwards, I was feeling kind of bad. I wasn't impolite, just not especially warm. I felt a twinge of guilt. But both LV and Best Friend (after hearing the story) assured me no guilt was necessary--so I will chalk it up to just not wanting to be entirely inviting.

This next week will be on the busy side, with friends rather than dating, culminating in a birthday party Friday for my friend Dopelganger (he's like the gay male version of me in taste and personality--we love him, clearly). I'm hoping Best Friend will join for that. I haven't seen her in agggges.

Come on, mojo. Don't keep telling me no go!
--Cute Jewess

2008-01-19T15:30:00.001-05:00

Stories to come soon! But for now, enjoy my new crush, Jordan from Conan O'Brien. This clip hasn't failed to cause merriment no matter how many times I watch it.

2008-01-13T00:51:00.000-05:00

A CJ quickie:
It is true that in the past year, I have used the word "douche" more often than in previous years. I kinda dig it. But perhaps the term may now roll off my tongue too easily.

Just now, as I came from the kitchen with a glass of water, my cat looked ready to pounce at me. My instinctive response to him, out loud and sincere, was "Don't be a douchebag."

Indeed, tonight the kitty is acting douchey.

--Cute Jewess

2008-01-10T14:54:00.000-05:00

Blond could really use some dating classes. Also, I am now on the lookout for new datey places in my (easily accessible) neighb, as I will not be traveling like that again for a first date for a good long while.

I had forgotten that I had a small blister on my toe, but as I walked the many blocks to meet Blond, I was sharply reminded of it. Because of the unusually warm weather, I was wearing thin socks with my high heel boots. All I can say is Ouch. I got to the date five minutes late, explaining "Wow, that was a walk." Blond's response? "Yeah, this place isn't near the subway." Okay, homey, then why did you choose it!? Whatever. I'm just not walking that much in heels again for a Jdate, period.

My 2nd thought upon meeting Blond was, "Easy with the cologne, buddy." I shouldn't be sitting arms length away from you and smell your jank cologne. Period.

I will assure you these thoughts were in my head only, and I was very polite (more so than I probably should have been), and our conversation was just fine, as we share some interests in common. After an hour (mind you it took almost 40 minutes door-to-door for me to get to this place), Blond pulled the "I'm tired" line. Normally, I'd say fine. We were having a pleasant enough time, but it was clear we weren't a match. However, I still had half my drink left. Blond wasn't even letting me finish my drink. Tacky, tacky. In total, I spent more time getting to and from the friggin' date than I did on the date. Boo hiss on Blond.

Let's talk about something else more enjoyable, then. I hate to say this, because I certainly support television writers and consider their cause strike-worthy, but Conan O'Brien's show is funnier without the writers. This is because his best bits are always when he's let loose on some situation with a camera and no script. His whole Finland special was like that--highly recommended for those who haven't seen it. Without scripts lately, they've been doing more of these remotes.

Anyway, last night, Conan showed a clip of him "getting to know" his associate producer Jordan Schlansky. Given Jordan's last name, it's possible he could be elevated to "Cute Jew of the Week" status, but since I'm not sure, I'll just tell you to find this clip on the YouTube. Jordan Schlansky is one odd individual, but in the most fun, funny, loveably eccentric way. My two favorite bits were when straight-faced Jordan cracks up as Conan uncovers his secret stash of pop-tarts (adorable), and a later, separate clip--find this one too!--that's just Conan cracking up at Jordan doing nothing. Sitting there. Being himself.

I have a new I-don't-know-you-in-real-life crush for sure. Hell, I'll probably go find the clips on YouTube later and post them myself. You may remember when Conan was in San Francisco, and he (hilariously) visited George Lucas's Skywalker Ranch. This Jordan is the same dude who asked Lucas some elaborate question only, like, 5 Star Wars lovers would know. Can you see why I heart him?

For Jordan, I'd totally travel. ;-)

--Cute Jewess

2008-01-08T14:55:00.001-05:00

I have nothing to wear tonight. I need some good date tops. I could wear a dress, but I'm not in the mood, and my tops are all rather casual. I just need a short sleeved shirt of some kind with some pretty trim and nice neckline or something. There will be combing through the closet.

If you're in New York right now, I hope you've got a window open. What a lovely, spring-like day. It's the kind of weather that makes me want to nap in a breeze. God I wish I could nap right now near an open window. Cats have it so good.

I need to get my hair done soon--it's getting a bit ratty. But oy, New York stylists are just so expensive. Mine is comparably reasonable, and I adore her, but I'm not looking forward to the expense. I know I'm not the only gal on a budget who considers hair maintenance a necessity. My self-confidence--the part that relates to the physical, at least--starts with my hair. I feel like Lady Samson. My stylist and I talked last time I went about changing the color, but I'm not feeling that bold at the moment, so I believe I will keep on keeping on.

If only I could keep on keeping on...while napping.

--Cute Jewess

2008-01-06T20:38:00.000-05:00

My first Jdate of the year, with Blond (a new guy), will be next week. Generally (as I've mentioned before) when a dude suggests a place in his neighborhood, I find it an initial turn-off. Scratch that--the suggestion itself is just fine, if qualified with something like "Or we can meet in your neighborhood, if that's better for you." Blond did not qualify. To me, that initially says, "I'm not that considerate." Usually I will counter with "How about you come to my neighborhood?" But truth be told, I'm kind of sick of the datey places in my neighborhood. Often they're too loud, crowded, etc. So for this time, I'll travel to his neck of the woods, and if I regret it, then I'll know to look for new wine bars and lounges in my neighb. I don't expect anything tremendous from this date, but that's often the best way to go into these things.

I belive I have a coffee problem. I've always drank a lot of coffee, but I fear it's starting to screw with my dehydration levels. I'm always thirsty, and I wake up dying for water. Not great. I know I should cut back on the coffee--and I probably will--but for now I'm vowing to drink more water. Boy do I pee.

See what I write about when the year starts slowly?

In the next few months I will be planning 1) at least one party, maybe two; 2) a trip that will be both totally exciting and bittersweet (can't go into details); 3) the possibility of a new career path. So for now, I'm okay with quiet time.

--Cute Jewess

2008-01-01T16:17:00.002-05:00

Happy New Year!

Sometimes I like to blog right after an event, when I'm working through things in my head. But mostly, I wait a couple days to see how I'm feeling then. No Smile was the dude I dated this past weekend, but the story is actually quite simple, I think.

When I saw No Smile, I was pleased--he was cuter in person. And from the start, conversation just flowed. We sat side by side, he seemed to imply he was enjoying himself, and I figured I'd be going on another date with this guy. Now here's the thing. Certain details came up in our conversation that were big red flags about this dude in terms of how he acts in relationships. I got the sense he didn't like to be tied down, so to speak, and didn't always act "right" by his lady. So pretty much, despite his attractiveness, humor, and gentlemanly behavior during our very pleasant date, I knew he wasn't likely going to be relationship material. But he seemed great just-dating or fling type material. If nothting else, I figured I'd get to see how he kisses.

But, as you saw last entry, you know how that ended. I did go through some "Are my pictures too flattering" anxiety, but for now I'll just go forward with whomever the next guy is and see how that goes.

New Years was quiet for me, which is all I really felt like. Best Friend had invited me to join her at a party, and I would certainly have enjoyed spending time with her, but I just wasn't feeling the night, so to speak. New Years is never my favorite holiday--too expensive, crowded, often disappointing. So I had dinner with my mom and dad, and we enjoyed watching Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin (love her!) ring in 2008 on CNN. From my parent's window, you can see a wonderful fireworks display, too. Dad put his arm arounds me and mom and said he had his two ladies, and that's all he needed to be happy. Awwww.

I don't tend to make resolutions, because I know I'll just break them. But I think 2008 will be a good year, and I look forward to sharing what I hope will be its great stories with you.

--Cute Jewess

2007-12-29T00:24:00.000-05:00

More details later, but sometimes you just don't know how a date is going until the end. We seemed to vibe so well--constant conversation, and I'm sure he was into what I was talking about. So much that when I tried to shift the conversation to him, he declared that we weren't done with me yet.

Then he ends the night with a cheek kiss and a "Nice to meet you." That's literally the equivalent of saying "I had a fine time, but I won't call you."

And I liked this one.

Hell, I'd even just fool around with him I think.

But maybe that wouldn't be the best idea anyway. Okay, the full story another time!

--Cute Jewess

2007-12-27T14:00:00.000-05:00

The Jdate dudes seem to want to move quickly this time around--which is actually a plus, I think. Why email for ages, get a bit attached, and then meet the guy and realize it's not right or not gonna happen?

Another dude I emailed wrote me back--I'll call him No Smile, because he won't in his pics. Loverville would say to be wary--she's big on teeth. But he's tall, cute, and seems decent. Only problem? He doesn't live in Manhattan. Cutting right to the chase, No Smile asked me, "Hey, let's have a drink in my area." Ummm...no. We've been over this, folks. The girl takes more time to get ready, has hair and makeup to do, and she wears more uncomfortable shoes. Who do you think I expect to travel? Besides that, it's just the gentlemanly thing to do. So instead of writing back, Sure! Let's do it, I wrote--why don't you come to my neck of the woods?

I wasn't sure what No Smile would write back. Was his invitation a test to see if I would come to his parts? I would. Just not on a first date. But to my surprise he was just lovely about coming to my area. So we've got a date set for this weekend. Nothing I'm too invested in, but I think that's the best way to go into it.

Get ready for another Jshrimp on the barbie, folks! Yeah, I don't know what that means either.

--Cute Jewess

2007-12-25T17:55:00.000-05:00

Feel like some Jgoings on for Xmas?

I emailed 3 dudes on the Jdate, one of whom read the message a couple hours ago with no response (yet), which is a shame because he seemed to have a great personality. Also, I was invited to chat with a guy whose pic I'd seen on the site before but never clicked on because he just didn't look my type. Not quite a guido, but with certain guido-y aspects. I'll call him Boro, since he grew up in the boroughs. Turns out his profile was well written, and he seemed like a decent enough guy, so we had a bit of a chat. We'll see if he gets back in touch, though he seemed to want to.

There's been lots of texting/emailing with the FAF lately. For those of you who might not remember (it's been so long since I mentioned him!) that's the Former Almost Fiance. Although I remain certain we're not a romantic match, I still have caring feelings for him, and I'm glad to say we're becoming true friends. We'd always stayed in touch to some extent, and I hope things continue to go well with our new relationship.

But after my dating hiatus, I am so ready to continue dating more. So bring it on, Jdate. Just remember douches need not apply :-)

--Cute Jewess

2007-12-24T18:06:00.000-05:00

Is this what Jews in the computer age do, blog on Xmas Eve? Well, this one does :-) A very merry crazy happy or at least not too painful with the family and the stuff Christmas to my goy readers and my dear friends. Moving on.

Sooooo I arrive on time (as usual) to the upscale lounge where I am to meet Pompous. I may not have recognized him, I'll admit. He didn't look like his pictures--definitely not as cute. But still, he was an attractive enough guy. Who wore his jeans belted high on his waist. Loosen up a bit, buddy. Erm, okay...

Actually, the fact that he wasn't unapproachably good looking could have been a plus in my book. However, the conversation just never flowed. We do share a similar sense of humor, and we were able to quip and talk just fine, but some kind of connection was missing. Don't get me wrong, I don't think it's any fault of my own. Pompous seems somewhat lacking in the personality department--though I do get the feeling he's one of those people you just need to get to know better.

I don't think I'll get the chance.

I would have gone on a second date with Pompous, but I'm expecting him to call like I'm expecting the Spears family babies to grow up well-adjusted. Pompous pulled the "I'm tired" line, and he left with a "Nice to meet you."

It's a shame, because I do think we might have warmed up to each other, but I'm not too broken up about it. I didn't feel a massive connection either. Perhaps it was too much to hope for this soon back on the Jdate bandwagon.

But do we Christmas Jew Bloggers browse Jdate on Christmas Day? Hey, sure why not? For now I'm cozying up with a TiVo movie and a frozen dinner. It's merry enough.

--Cute Jewess

2007-12-22T14:10:00.000-05:00

Pompous was supposed to call today so we could discuss where we would meet tonight. He has not yet. He still has about 5 hours, but I find myself (of course) preparing for the worst: silence.

Or, if we do meet tonight, I'm trying not to seem like I might be more interested than he is, which could very well be the case. Whatever happens, there is no way I'm calling him if he said he'd do the calling.

Can you tell I'm still nervous?

Thankfully I will be wearing one of my two power-dresses (not sure which one yet), which always give me an extra boost of confidence and make me feel more attractive.

*A few minutes pass.*

Okay, I'm feeling less nervous. Less invested. And hell, I'm kind of tired. So if we don't go out tonight, that won't be the worst thing. But who knows how I'll feel in a couple minutes? :-)

UPDATE: Place set. Dress chosen--it's Hottest Guy I've Ever Slept With dress, and it's hot. Shoes, accessories all ready. Cute Jewess is gonna look her finest tonight. But will she be interesting? Funny? Not too reserved? I haven't been this excited about a date in a long, long time. Wow--consulting my date notebook, it seems I haven't been truly into a guy since Big Smile, which was late August. For goodness sake--no one I've been really into and y'all are still reading the blog? Must be for the horror stories, then, eh?

--Cute Jewess

2007-12-21T13:23:00.001-05:00

Cute Jewess is officially back on the saddle. Or will be, tomorrow, when I have my first return-to-Jdate-date. With whom will remain a mystery for the moment, to build the suspense. I am sure you're at the edge of your seat about it.

I called Eager, and we spoke. He explained he had just been so taken with my photos, and Jdate is "addictive," and so he apologized for coming on strong. We had one of those conversations that's not bad, but not brimming with sparks. He asked a lot of questions, which is not my preferred way to get to know someone. I'm more of a "let's just talk" gal than a "Q&A" gal. I think Eager purposely didn't ask me out on the phone, to seem less eager. I left the conversation thinking that if he got in contact again, I'd meet him. And if not, then I would be entirely non-broken up about it.

As to Pompous? Oh, Pompous. He seems more perfect every day we email. He actually makes me laugh via messages--not an easy feat. He's super successful, tall, has great pics, shares similar interests to me, and hasn't seemed so pompous lately...Of course now I'm going through the "Oh God he won't like me in person" anxiety. I emailed my friend Single, a single dude who online dates a lot, and I asked if he'd mind looking at my profile pics and telling me if they're representative. I assured him that my ego could take the truth. According to Single, "I think they’re great pics, and entirely representative. They also show '[CJ] is cute, as you can tell from the pics, but also obviously up for fun.' And you’re smiling in the pictures, which is always a good thing."

So whom am I going on a date with tomorrow? Oh, you guessed already didn't you? Pompous and I are meeting, and I am nervous!! I'll probably break out a dress for the occasion. I have a couple stand-bys that are very figure flattering. One of them Best Friend remembers as the Hottest Guy I Ever Slept With dress (he first saw me from behind, in the dress, and according to Best Friend, who was watching his face, he enjoyed the view). I've had it for about 7 years! The other stand-by is also about that old, but dudes still seem to love it.

Now I just have to be as charming as can be and remember all the things I tell myself about relaxing, being myself, not too uptight, not too guarded, etc. etc.

Most of all, I'm looking forward to it.
--Cute Jewess

2007-12-19T13:45:00.001-05:00

Guess who emailed again today? Oy.
I know the "best" thing to do is just not respond. To vanish. I know that's what would be in my best interest. But...oh, I just can't. I wouldn't feel right about it. He's just so eager, and doesn't seem like a bad guy, just one who can't control his impulses. To stop now would seem so...mean.

But I also couldn't let things go on like this. I let Eager know--as tactfully as I could--that he was coming on too strong. Eager replied something very sweet. Honestly, if he'd just cut his emails in half I wouldn't be so wary. I let him know I would return his phone message when I was able, and I will hope he doesn't contact me again before then. So that's where we are with that.

Trust me, if it comes to a date, it will be in my neighborhood and somewhere very populated. Perhaps even a place where I know the bartenders in case I need to send an S.O.S. If nothing else, I may have to work out a plan with a girlfriend to call me in the middle of the date with an "emergency."

I'm seeing Best Friend tonight for the first time in ages!! Exciting. It'll have to be an early night, though, because I've gotta get home to bake cookies for the Shrink. Ha. The life of a single Jewish NYC girl during the holidays--of course that would include cookies for the shrink! :-) Actually, I'm seeing him about once a month now, and I'm not sure I have much to talk about. Still, whenever I do start seeing a dude(s) again, I think it'll help to have him around. So count me as mostly well-adjusted, with a possibility of spazzing in the future.

--Cute Jewess

2007-12-18T18:07:00.000-05:00

See? Two posts in one day! Eager is getting...eagerer. And yes, now I'm starting to get a bit freaked out. He asked if we could meet, and I suggested we speak first over the phone. (What? Cute Jewess has learned something after all these months of Jdating? Go figure!) He left me a voicemail message that was sweet, charming, and totally acceptable. Except. Well. When I didn't call right back, he emailed me again. Like, within an hour. To say he hoped I wasn't over him yet.

Um. Wait.

When was I under him?

--CJ

2007-12-18T11:19:00.000-05:00

Okaaaayyyyy. I'm Jback on the Jbandwagon. So expect more blogging from me, I think. I would've written Jblogging, but duh, you get the picture.

Last night I emailed three guys, whom I will rank in interest as 1, 2, and 3. Within minutes of contacting them, 1 and 3 wrote right back. And they said that ancient oil lasting 8 nights was a miracle.

Both 3 and 1 deserve nicknames. 3 I will call Eager. Because Oh. My. God. Here's the thing, though. He's smart, cute (at least from far away pics--hmmm), writes well, keeps in shape...there doesn't seem to be much wrong with him. So why has he written me 6 emails for the 2 I've sent him? Right away, he wrote me 2 emails. Then another hours later to ask if he'd scared me away. And then another when I didn't write back right away again. Yikes! Clearly he is not adhering to typical online dating email ettiquette. But also, clearly, he really likes my profile, as he's told me several times. And I tend to like it when guys express interest. So, despite the feeling of "yikes," I will consider Eager a definite maybe.

Then there's 1. Oh, 1. He's handsome, well educated, funny--we both have that dry sarcasm going on. But I think I've got to name him Pompous. His email back to me puts him (in my mind) in that category of guys who know what they've got and are eager to let you know it too. But there are worse sins. And the humor. And the looks. And the success. (In that order.) It's enough to keep on communicating to see where it goes. If the email pomposity gets worse, however? Then I'll reconsider.

So we'll see! There are more guys I would contact, but I haven't delved in completely yet. Too much work to do before the end of the year. Better get crackin'...

--Cute Jewess

2007-12-16T20:55:00.000-05:00

Flirty High Guy is psychotic. For real now. Psychotic.

So I go to Brill's holiday party, and I see lots of Brill and her fiance's friends, whom I don't get to see often at all, but whom I've known for years. So there's the hi, the catching up, the wine, the food, the normal chit chatty holiday party stuff. Best Friend stops by the party for what she'd call "a hot minute," and I feel great just seeing her--it's been a while! So lah di dah, party going along swell.

EXCEPT. Flirty High Guy, can you just leave me alone? Please? I was working what I was calling the "Zone of Safety" at the party. Any time I'd see FHG, I'd go to the kitchen and declare it a safety zone. Or I'd find a friend and hide behind him or her. FHG? Was in rare form. Kicking chairs around, dropping food and drink everywhere--even once forcefully spewing a bottle of water all over the floor. Lovely, no?

And oh, it gets better.

Last year around this time, Brill, her fiance, and a big group of some of the people at the party went out to dinner. I was at the far corner of the table seated with (why?!) FHG and another dude I'll call Sweet Pea--because he's a sweetheart of a guy, and small. I had forgotten that FHG and Sweet Pea were trying to get me to "choose" one of them throughout the night. Apparently I was very diplomatic and said they were both fine in their own ways but I would decline the option. You know, something like that.

At the party, Sweet Pea was being perfectly charming in the way a guy will flirt when he knows nothing's really gonna happen. "So, what would it take, CJ? Flowers? Do you like flowers? What have your boyfriends done to win you over?" Then FHG comes over and starts the whole "You have to choose one!" mandate again. If you don't choose, you're boring! You have to choose! Yeah, I go to the Zone of Safety.

Throughout the night, there would be more conversation with FHG when I couldn't avoid it, and I was perfectly diplomatic--this is Brill's fiance's very good friend after all--but really he knew he was being a jerk, and I just kind of shrugged it off. Such as:

FHG: Can I have naked pictures of you?
CJ: Nope, can't say that's gonna happen.
FHG: Oh come onnnn, why not?
CJ (sarcastically): Guess you'll just have to imagine.
FHG: No, that's what the pictures are for. So I can imagine having sex with you.

FHG: Why do I get more and more attracted to you?
CJ: Because I keep saying no.
FHG: How about you stay over my place.
CJ: Nope.

Yes, FHG was drunk as hell, but he's also kind of just like this.

Toward the end of the party, there's just a few of us, including Gentleman, Brill's fiance's friend from out of town whom I also know and like hanging out with. Brill and Fiance suggest heading to a bar nearby, and we do. So it's 3 gals and 3 guys, including FHG and Sweet Pea. I sit near Brill, and we've got a wobbly table full of drinks and candles.

As soon as I saw FHG coming, I blew out the candles. Homeboy's a fire hazard. He leaned on the table, nearly sending all the drinks flying, and I was just getting pissed. Enough already. "Come on, FHG," I said, "Just sit down." FHG grabbed my glass of wine and swirled it around, getting wine all over the stem for me to hold. "That's great," I said sarcastically. I had been pleading with him to just put it down. But no, he has to pick it up again and procede to spill--in full 3D flying arc motion--the glass all over my dress.

I was not happy, but I wasn't yelling yet. "Can you please go get me some napkins," I said in a very annoyed voice. Brill looked to her fiance, but he shrugged. "What am I gonna do, kick him out?" Ya know what, Fiance? Yes. Kick him out. Or at least say to him, "Hey, why don't you leave CJ alone buddy." But of course Fiance was drunk too, if perhaps not as gone as FHG. Still...

Gentleman leaned over from his corner of the table and said to me "You forgot about the Zone of Safety!" So there was readjusting, and the group made sure I was on the other side of the table from FHG.

Except. EXCEPT! FHG jumps onto the friggin' wobbly table and lunges toward me to...I don't know what! I felt like I was about to be physically attacked. "What are you doing!?" I yelled. "Get down! What are you doing!?" The people in the bar around us watched in stunned silence. Nice, right?

I had to leave. Even though I was enjoying hanging with the other people--whom I rarely get to see--I couldn't take another second around FHG. As I got up, Sweet Pea protested. "No, CJ, don't go. He's just being like that because you're patient."

"Oh, I'm not patient," I told Sweet Pea. "I was patient."

I grabbed my coat and headed toward the narrow passageway out of the bar, except smack in the middle of it is FHG. I visibly cringed. Gentleman must have seen it from the table, because he came over and said, "May I escort you out?" Love him.

Oy. My nerves were completely rattled. I couldn't get a cab--!!--and wound up walking the 15 blocks home in my uncomfortable boots. Not so fun.

The next day I got a call from Brill saying she was "horrified" for what FHG had done but that "He's more horrified." Apparently he'd asked for my email address to write me an apology. Brill tactfully suggested FHG send the email to Fiance, who would forward it to me. I do not want to give FHG any easier way of contacting me, that is for sure.

For Pete's sake. Remember when my drama involved wondering if some Jdate boy was going to write me back? No worries--I'll be signing up again soon. If only to avoid the crazies in Real Life!

--Cute Jewess

2007-12-11T23:30:00.001-05:00

I had to leave an establishment tonight to stop myself from punching a girl in the face. I'm not exaggerating. I pictured my fist cracking this girl's cheekbone, and I wanted to fight her. She was crazy rude and verbally attacked me for 100% absolute no reason. She also physically touched me--and that's when I lost it. The word around the bar was that she was "psycho." But honest to goodness, I'm still feeling gypped that I didn't get to fight the ho.

Now, this is unusual for me. I feel anger, don't get me wrong, like any human being, when someone is being absolutely and appallingly rude. And yes, I have been known to tell those people off. But I haven't been in a physical fight since I was 12 years old. That might have been before I even knew Best Friend, my oldest friend. The dude was a bully. I couldn't stand him. He was so mean to me. And one day, I swung around when he was behind me, and I punched the sucker in the stomach. Hard. He doubled over. And homeboy never bullied me again.

So Rude Blonde Girl From The Bar, don't play with me. Because I will punch a ho. Just not in my friend's bar.

Okay, probably not anywhere. But wow, if this is what dudes feel on a regular basis, then I can kind of understand how fist fights start. So I will go to sleep now. And I will still want to punch that bitch. But yes, I will be glad that I did not.

I may have flicked her in the face. But she started it.

--Cute Jewess

2007-12-10T14:38:00.000-05:00

What to do, what to do?

I broke the seal and logged onto Jdate for the first time in several weeks. And I found at least 4 guys whom I would in theory get in touch with. So now I'm feeling the itch to return to the realm of the dating on the internet. Keep in mind I'm short on time this month, and the last thing I need is a distraction from work right now. So the smart, sensible, rational thing to do would be to wait until January. And yet...oy...I'm very suddenly finding it hard to wait!

At least I'll wait until this Friday. That's Brill's boyfriend's annual holiday party. Last year I figured there would be tons of cute guys to flirt with. Eh, not so much. I wound up being accosted by--and barely being able to run away from--Flirty High Guy. Oh please let him have a girlfriend this year!!

I'd better stay away from Jdate right now or I know I'm signing that shit up again.
Back to work I go!

--Cute Jewess

2007-12-09T21:41:00.000-05:00

Yeah, so the thing about a dating blog is that when you decide to take a dating hiatus...well...there's not much to write about, is there?!

It's not that I haven't been busy--God, I've been busy--but eh, I haven't had much room for guys lately. Okay, so there was that cute as hell, young as hell bartender I flirted with at Good Friend's recent gathering--but it's not like it went anywhere. Although Mr. X was at the shindig too, and he kept coming over to poke me or hold my arm while I was chatting with Hot Young Bartender...

Ah, I need to catch you up there, don't I? Just about the time I decided I wasn't really attracted to Mr. X, he asked if we could be friends. Score! Let's just say he had some big red flags hovering around him--and funny enough when I talked about them with Good Friend, she totally agreed. But Mr. X is still a swell guy, and fun to hang out with. It's just that now when he tries to be all touchy feely, I pull away, and he spits out an awkward "Sorry." He remains fond of complimenting my body. Often. Good Friend says if this makes me uncomfortable I should say something--and in truth I probably will.

I expect to return to Jdate in January, which will no doubt spice things up here. The flirting well hasn't quite dried up--I still chat up a dude in a bar now and then. Last night it was a punk-rock type who looked like Sylar from Heroes and had beautiful eyes. I wasn't really interested, but I'm trying to keep the flirting wheels from getting completely rusty and unturnable, ya know?

Oh, it's Hanukkah, isn't it? I haven't been lighting candles or anything, but certainly I can pull a graphic out of my blogger ass for you, no? Look! It's just the same as the real thing.

--Cute Jewess

2007-11-23T23:18:00.000-05:00

Mr. X is temporarily without easy internet access, I think, but he texted me again. Hmmm. He keeps texting me. I have a feeling he'd like to hang out again, but he's not making any kind of move. Aaaaaannnnnndddddd now that I think about it, I have a wee feeling I've been expecting him to read my mind.

Duh, dudes. Obviously you're supposed to be reading our minds and catering to our every whim on a regular basis. It's so easy!

Yeahhh, see, after our first date-not-date, once I was reassured by Good Friend that she was cool with whatever might happen with X, I remember I emailed X that we should hang out again. I was still feeling iffy, though. I'm not sure why--so I remember emailing something along the lines of "We'll just hang out and see what happens, no pressure."

No pressure.

So, um, I specifically asked X not to pressure me. Of course, that little bit escaped my mind--or rather, took a back seat to my later wish for him to just ask me out on a real date already. Methinks I might have to do some nudging. Knowing me, I'd just say "So, wanna ask me out to dinner?"

But then, that's probably better than wearing a sign saying "Now accepting moderate amounts of pressure."

By the way, as for Thanksgiving?
I. Am. Still. Full.

Also, I got this fortune cookie recently and it made me smile, so I will now share:
"Lucky you. Get out your party clothes. The clean ones."

Thus ends Random Blog Moment of the Day,

brought to you by this smiley.

--Cute Jewess

2007-11-21T14:16:00.000-05:00

Let's see. What to report? These will be busy weeks for CJ coming up, so I'm not sure just how much social/hang-out time I'll get. But, well, it always sneaks in there, doesn't it?

I'm not sure what's going on with Mr. X. At this point, I'd like him to just ask me out on a date. He texted me this weekend, but nothing much came of it. It's possible I gave him the impression that I wouldn't date him--because of Good Friend. I'm not stressed about it--just bored, I think, and ready for some juice to blog about :-)

Ah, but there is one thing! I had to look back to see what nickname I gave him--approrpiately, it was Halloween Boy. HB emailed me back recently, weeks after I emailed him--just chatty, nothing to be terribly excited about. But oh, do I think he's cute. I'm wondering how to finagle a meeting with him. Loverville and I were considering planning an "Everyone We Know" happy hour--might be something fun for the new year.

In the meantime, however...
Have a great Thanksgiving!!

2007-11-14T23:48:00.000-05:00

I just emailed this to LV, and I think it encompasses some of what I'm feeling right now:
"I have to find that perfect [CJ] zone between being nervous/uptight and a bit too tipsy. Basically, the me you know :-)"

Ex-Who-Needs-New-Name....hmmm, what about just X? Kind of mysterious, that. Or Mr. X? X-Man? Anyway, X has definitely cooled off his pursuit. But that's okay for now. It's funny--when he was texting me up the wazoo I remember thinking (gently) "Okay, enough for now!" Ha, and when I didn't text him back once--only because I thought our correspondence had reached its natural end--he texted me back a few minutes later, "Where'd you go?" So maybe it's a good thing that he's cooled off a bit.

I do think we'll hang out again next week or the week after. I've got to work on not being nervous--which sometimes makes me seem more uptight than I am--and yet also not falling into the easy let's-just-drink-more trap. Although, some drinking will be fine, thanks.

But apart from that, what do I feel about him? Truth be told, I still don't know. All I know is that I'd be interested in getting to know him better. Something about him makes me feel somewhat uncomfortable. Not when I'm with him--but afterwards, when I think about him. I'm not sure what it is--more research will be needed. Talking to Shrink about it wouldn't hurt. I've been seeing him less often lately, but he still has the dandiest advice.

I am so psyched for this weekend. I'm getting to see a friend I rarely get to see, but whom I just love. I'll call her Creative. She's one of the most creatively talented people I know and just an all around cool, great chick. She's having a huge party, involving themes and dressing up and makeup. Fun, fun, fun.

--Cute Jewess

2007-11-13T18:24:00.000-05:00

It's been forever since I've posted twice in one day! But I'm feeling the need for the kind of support I get from writing schtuff down.

The commenters from last post were right, and I know it--but it's still so hard to resist getting in touch! So here I am resolving to let Ex (hmmm, he's gonna need a new name...) get in touch first next time around. He did email back, and he expressed interest in hanging out in the future, but no plans were made.

I've got to let him make the next move to make plans.

No texting! No emailing! Peoplies, write me every day--hell, every hour--here if you want to remind me.

In any case, I've got a full weekend coming up, so homey would've had to wait until next week to hang out again anyway.

--Cute Jewess

2007-11-13T13:54:00.000-05:00

Oh for fuck's sake. Why can't anything just be easy?

Ok, I'll spare you the details and email quotes from my talk with Good Friend and paraphrase. She has assured me about a million times that she would be okay with me dating Ex. Not only okay, but that she'd be happy that two of her "amazing," "smart," "witty" friends found the same in someone else. How sweet is that? It really warmed my heart, and made me feel so much better about the whole situation. After her millionth assurance, I said I'd shut up about it now, and that I'd leave it in her court to ever mention if she feels uncomfortable about it in any way.

So, easy, you think. Right?

Ex and I started emailing and texting on a regular basis. Adorable things from him, all flirty and sweet. I was probably less flirty, more reserved--but I felt I'd need to see him again to figure out how I feel. I'd need to see for one thing if I were still attracted to him when sober. But more, I'd have to see him without the mental/emotional block in place. I was so intent on not looking at him as a possible romantic interest before, that I'd need to be around him again while thinking it's a possibility to know how I felt.

But in the meantime: Text, text, text. Email, email, email. Whatever I sent, he zoomed right back.

Then I saw him again.
And I like him.

Don't get me wrong, we have differences. He's adventurous, spontaneous, open to anything. I'm...not so much. I know, I know. I can be a bit tightly wound--most often around someone I don't feel completely comfortable with. And when you're realizing you like a guy? It's hard to feel comfortable around him--at least for me. So on our second "hang-out" that could've been a date, but maybe was or wasn't a date--I have a feeling I came across as pretty darn repressed.

But still. We ended the evening with a goodnight kiss--longer than the "two-point-five" seconds he said I had allowed him before. I texted him after I got home. (On our first "hang-out" he had been the one to text afterwards--a sweet message I've still got saved.)

He texted back the next morning. It was...fine. I mean, I think it was fine. Just not as effusive as before. Then I emailed. I asked if he wanted to hang out again. He hasn't written back yet.

This was a dude who was writing me back 5 minutes after I emailed him before. Now it's been a couple hours. If I had to guess--I would honestly think he wants to be my friend right now. Just as I've decided I'd like to see if we're compatible as something more.

So, you see? For fuck's sake.
--Cute Jewess

2007-11-10T17:17:00.000-05:00

Part Two.
I got to our designated meeting place on time, and Ex was already there. He rushed to help me take off my coat and instantly offered to buy me a drink. My eyes probably went a bit wide, and I'm guessing I went into emotional pull-back mode. This did not feel like a friendly hang-out. But I remembered what Good Friend had told me. That women can think he's interested in them when he's just being his "usual, charming self." But he kept complimenting me. Little things, but I don't know--I just got the sense that he was thinking this might be a date, or perhaps lead to one in the future.

I honestly can't quite remember what I was thinking at the time. Mostly, what was going through my head was, "Don't think of this guy as a dude. Think of him as Good Friend's Ex." I probably seemed somewhat uncomfortable. But then, I was. So I figured we'd go to a spot that's one of my "regulars" where I knew people, and where I felt sure we'd have an easier time just "hanging out."

That's when I had too much to drink. I hadn't planned on it, but I realize now I probably hadn't eaten enough beforehand. Then Ex kept ordering another round when I would have been ready to stop drinking. As will happen with the booziness, I loosened up. Ex sensed this, I'm sure. He asked me about our "date that's maybe not a date but maybe is a date." I hung my head, avoided looking him in the eye, and told him it wasn't a date, just hanging out. It couldn't be a date, because he was my Good Friend's Ex.

Ex protested that he and Good Friend had been "just friends" for a very long time. But I still hedged, and he relented. "Ok, we can just hang out," he said. "Are you having a good time?" I said that I was. "That's all that counts," he said.

But the hours kept on passing. Yes, hours. The date-not-date would last six and a half hours in total. At some point, he started telling me that I was "sexy." And meanwhile, I had learned that the guy is just a sweetheart. Kind, smart, passionate about what he does. If we had been on a date, it would have been a pretty fun date.

But when, at the bar, he kissed me, I pulled back. My head was fuzzy enough that I wanted to kiss him back, but not so fuzzy that I was ready to jeopardize a friendship over it.

He walked me home. And he kissed me again. And for a minute, I kissed back.

Then I pulled away, shoved the key in my lock, and yelled "Bad!" at him. I quickly forced the door shut behind me.

Minutes later, Ex texted me a very sweet goodnight, and said he looked forward to seeing me again.

I didn't text back.

Stay tuned for Part 3, in which I tell Good Friend everything the next day!

--Cute Jewess

2007-11-08T15:19:00.001-05:00

Oh, I've got a story for you! The kind you'll like, I think, and I have a feeling you'll all have opinions on it that you'll want to share. And, as usual, I'll ignore or bite back at the bitchy comments... ;-) But it's long, so we'll do it in 2 parts.

Sometime not long ago, Good Friend Whose Identity I Will Not Reveal had a lovely get-together for some of her closest friends. What a fun night! With food, much wine, and excellent company. At this party was Good Friend's Boyfriend. Also present was an ex of hers, who has continued to be a friend these past 10 years since they ended things. But whom I still knew as "her ex."

At some point, Good Friend's Ex and I started chatting. We found we had similar tastes and hobbies in common, and when I told him I was shy, he wouldn't believe me. "You're so dynamic," he said. By the end of our conversation, he had told me in a roundabout way that he thought I was cute, and in a very direct way (more than once) that he thought I was cool. I left the party thinking--hang on a sec. Good Friend's Ex was totally just flirting with me. Weird. But before I realized that, I had agreed to get in touch with Ex to hang out--since we enjoy certain of the same activities. I wouldn't have thought of it as a date at all--and in fact, I was already planning to invite others along--as I'd told Ex I would.

Now, I know you will feel me on this. How horrible--painful, sticky, downright torturous--can it be when a dude gets in between a close friendship? Having that happen was the farthest thing from my mind. I emailed Good Friend the next day: I got the sense that [Ex] might have been digging me a bit. That felt kinda weird--he's your ex-boyfriend. [I said I'd invite him to hang out.] But would that be considered a "date" thing? I'd be asking as a "friend" thing.

You might be thinking--did I think Ex was cute? Yeah, I did, but honestly (I swear!) the idea of him being any kind of option romantically was so far from my mind that I didn't even wonder if I would be interested in him. So I felt toward him pretty neutral--he was Dude Switzerland.

Good Friend emailed back that Ex had been her friend way longer than he was her boyfriend, that she didn't imagine them getting back together, and that she didn't "think" she'd have a problem with us dating. STILL. Not "thinking" it'll be a problem isn't good enough when you love your friend. And STILL I just wasn't thinking about him that way, because of their history.

Some days later, I figured I'd get in touch with Ex to hang out, so Good Friend and I emailed about him again. She said, and I'll paraphrase, that Ex tends to seem flirty when he's just being friendly. He's naturally charming. He has lots of female friends. I got the sense she was telling me that perhaps I misinterpreted his intentions. That he wouldn't think it was a "date" if I asked him to hang out. So I made plans with Ex. I invited Good Friend, but she couldn't come. I invited another friend, but she couldn't come. So it would just be us two. Hanging out. As friends.

When I got back from my hanging out with Ex, I emailed Good Friend straight away: "yeahhhhhh, that was completely not meant to be platonic tonight. i am completely confused and at sea and just want to do what's best for you."

Stay tuned for Part 2!!
--Cute Jewess

2007-11-04T13:49:00.000-05:00

I should dread my dates more often. Saturday night's meeting with Bad Phone earned him the nickname Not Bad. If anything, he just seems rather lonely, and eager to find that special someone. But he seems sweet, funny, and decent--which are pretty much my criteria for a second date. Are there sparks flying all over the place? No. But he seemed interested and asked if he could call me. I said yes. So we'll see about that!

As to my Friday night revelry with Sporty? Ha. I saw this dude who looked just like this Jdate profile picture. But, then, that happens. And you look twice, and you're like--nah, not him. This guy was definitely him. My back was turned to him most of the night, but Sporty said he kept on staring. She kept saying I should go talk to him. I think I emailed him not too long ago, and he never responded. Eh, if he's interested, he can email me. I wasn't that into him.

Our local hangout was filled to the gills with cute boys, none of whom came to talk to us. I wasn't feeling particularly outgoing that night, and neither was she. So we stuck mostly to ourselves. But we spit-handshake-vowed to be more flirty next time. I'll say, my local has some attractive guys in it on Friday and Saturday nights.

Okay, off to get crap done on this rather nice-weather Sunday afternoon!
--Cute Jewess

2007-11-02T18:36:00.000-05:00

I'll admit, I'm kinda dreading my date with Bad Phone. What should I do if I want to get out of the date quickly? Jdate advises me to shrink in size, grow old, and talk in a German accent.

Okay, not really. But I got a kick out of this email they sent me. Oh, Dr. Ruth, what sage advice do you have for a cute little NYC singleton?

Never fear. If my date's a total bust, I anticipate a fun, boozy night this weekend with Sporty. She's a firecracker, that one.
--Cute Jewess

2007-11-01T21:39:00.000-05:00

Next year I'm vowing to get that cute as anything Halloween costume I coveted for this year. I've got the web page with it bookmarked, and when it's back in stock (they sold out!) I'm going to indulge.

This year I wound up downtown with Best Friend, and we spoke to several guys, none of whom were particularly exciting in the end. But we looked adorable (her boobies were very perky) and I enjoyed the venue. There's other stuff I could tell you, but I haven't finished processing it yet in my own head, and I think I will need to test the waters more before I report back. Perhaps this weekend, when Sporty and I will next be out on the town, I'll be able to give a meatier synopsis. It's possible...well...it's possible I might work on looking a bit more sexy. I might do up the eyes a bit more. Might check the wardrobe to see if I have something more alluring than my usual "cute" outfits. Nothing too overt. But mixing it up.

Also in the works for this weekend? Oy. I think I messed up again on the Jdate front. I made plans with a dude before talking to him on the phone. (I know, I know.) He seemed decent on email--we did the funny banter. Yeahhhhh then we spoke on the phone. I think he's a bit of a downer. Already I don't think we're a match, but ya know what? I'll keep the dating wheels greased and keep up the practice. I'll know not to expect much, which--I mean--I knew already. But now I really know. I received two calls this week, too, from Jdate dudes I gave my number to a couple weeks ago. Thank God I didn't pick up either of the calls because I had no idea who they were. A quick check of the email archives led to a couple "Oh, that guy" moments. I think I'll call one of them back, but honestly, they're both pretty eh.

I have a feeling I'll be taking a break from the Jdate when my membership expires. At least a couple weeks, maybe more. Gotta wait for some new profiles to pop up that aren't...dregs.

(And no, I'm not feeling particularly pessimistic about it right now, Debbie Downers of the world.)
--Cute Jewess

2007-10-31T15:02:00.000-05:00

In the spirit of "Why not?" I emailed Halloween Boy. Will he respond?
Sporty backed out of the fun Halloween plans we had for tonight, but now it looks like Best Friend might be going out. Will I join her for Spooky Fun?

Stay tuned, ghouls and goblins. Mwah-ha-ha-hah.

2007-10-30T11:48:00.000-05:00

Saturday! I'm late with my report, sorry. I'm fighting a cold hard core before it fully blossoms. Take that, early germs!

Getting ready, I was overall pleased with my Halloween costume. What surprised me most was the makeup--it actually looked good! I don't know that I could go that dramatic on a regular basis, but I think I might try to do more with my eyes in the future. Best Friend especially liked the eye makeup. Both LV and BF liked the red, red lips, but I don't know if I'm a red, red lip kinda gal.

The party with Host-I-Barely-Know was different than I expected it to be. For one, the apartment was smaller, so the crowd was naturally rather intimate. Also, more people had dressed up than I imagined--and there were full on trampy outfits too--so I felt comfortable in my costume. Loverville--man, she is good at meeting people. She could give lessons and make a fortune!

And there was this guy...and oh, how I liked him! He was cute, successful, and we had a lot in common. Also, I've gotten good at the casual touch on the arm or such while talking to a cute dude. And mmmmm, his arm felt good. Homeslice worked out. We talked for a good portion of the night, and then we would have parted ways with no phone numbers exchanged if not for some clever finagling from Loverville. But I got the sense that he wasn't interested in me, which is a shame. He didn't ask for my number, after all. And he seemed to want to dance with and talk to this Asian chick--who wasn't even that cute. If there's ever a group gathering or such, I might invite him, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

Pout pout.

After getting nice and boozy at the party, Loverville and I met up with Best Friend at an underground, semi-secret lounge where she goes often, but I had never been. It was cuter than I thought it would be. Later, BF and I hit one more location. I found it rather easy, in fact, to talk to dudes. I met a couple nice (and interested) ones at the bar, and I was outgoing and charming. If I had wanted to get their numbers, I'm sure I could have, but eh, I wasn't feeling it so much. Also, um, there was this creeeeeeeepy older dude who would not stop staring at me. For. Real. It was disconcerting. At one point he said to me "That's a beautiful costume," and I just smiled, said thank you--without looking him in the eye--and then basically ran away. Still, the dude wouldn't stop staring. Yeah, that was appropriately Halloween creepy.

So, to recap: Costume was cute, makeup worked, met a dude I liked--duuuuude, why don't you like me?--who probably didn't like me back.

The end! For now ;-)

--Cute Jewess

2007-10-27T18:52:00.000-05:00

Ok people, bear with me. Cuz I'm nervous. Why am I nervous? For no good rational reason. But hey, let's talk about it.

1) I'm going to a party of someone I don't know very well. Not as the friend of someone who knows the person, but as the one who (barely) knows the person. So I'm nervous that everyone else will know the host well. That I'll be the only one in a somewhat "sexy-ish" costume, and so everyone will think I'm "that girl." That I just won't mesh well with the crowd.

2) I'm scared of my makeup. Meaning, I will be wearing a lot. Which I don't usually do. But it goes with the costume, and I did a "makeup test" before showering to make sure it all looked okay. I guess it does. But will it be pretty? Will it make me look weird?

3) I've been really looking forward to Halloween. Usually the more I look forward to something, the more disappointed I am when it doesn't meet expectations.

On the other hand! I'll be hanging out with LV and (later on) Best Friend, whom I both love. And some of Best Friend's friends. And maybe even HM (remember him?). Aaannnnddd I'll be able to booze it up for free at the don't-know-the-host's party, which is a big plus. Halloween be one expensive holiday.

When I tell The Shrink about my anxiety at parties where I don't know people well, he says "You can always leave." This is true. Trust me, I know there's nothing to be anxious about. And almost 100% of the time people can't tell I'm anxious.

I guess I just want everything to turn out great. And yes, meeting a guy to flirt with would be a big plus. And I want to feel cute.

--Cute Jewess

2007-10-26T13:21:00.000-05:00

After a night of not sleeping well, I'm feeling a tad cranky. BUT I'm excited for Halloween, and I've got my costume all picked out. I did not get the outfit-in-the-window I loved so much, but I found an old dress in my closet that--with some choice accessories--will do just fine. Nope, not gonna tell you what I'm going as for Halloween. I'll be attending at least 2 parties--maybe more! In the past, I've met dudes on Halloween--quality dudes--so I will hope to get my flirt on.

About the costume: It is short. Very short. Mostly "cute," but the shortness throws in a bit of "sexy." I talked about this with BF and LV--I'm not usually comfortable looking overtly sexy. The dress on its own? Would be marginally within my comfort zone. But to make it a bit hotter, I got lacy thigh high stockings. THESE are hot. Consultation with LV and BF resulted in both telling me that the outfit is still tame by NYC Halloween standards, and so I'm going with it.

I will look hot, dammit. And I will drink enough to be comfortable with that.

--Cute (Hot?) Jewess

2007-10-24T12:59:00.000-05:00

An experiment in graphics:
I installed a new graphics toolbar--can you see the glitter and animation, or is it just a solid regular ole object? Or...nothing at all? Gotta keep things spicy, you know--and my love life certainly ain't doin' it. Holla.

2007-10-23T10:25:00.000-05:00

I've got emails from 3 new dudes in my Jdate inbox whom I had planned to write back to. I just reread their profiles, though, and I'm not feeling jazzed. But I told myself--if I write back, I'm not automatically going to meet them. So at some point I'll write back, see how the conversation goes, maybe move to phone, and then--if the phone conversation's good--then we'll meet.

Divorced never called like he said he was going to. Part of me thinks I should send an email to check in, and another part of me remembers that in his last email to me there were signs of douchiness. That's why I haven't bothered so far.

Halloween's coming up. Can I afford the super cool costume I saw in the window down the block? Probably not, but I'm going to check in on it anyway. I like to be cute and flirty on Halloween, I won't lie--but I draw the line at trampiness. Boobs will not be hanging out. Midriff will not be displayed. Upper thigh will be covered. No bunny ears.

Happy Tuesday, folks!
--Cute Jewess

2007-10-22T11:31:00.000-05:00

After two phone conversations with AI, I knew he seemed much closer to dorky-dorky than cute-dorky. But I figured if I were physically attracted to him, that could be endearing. Yeahhhh, he's not so cute.

The thing was, we had planned to go to 2 places on our date. Note to self! Plan one place, then see how the date goes before agreeing to a Part 2. Because Part 1 would have been fine. Just have a good drink with some decent conversation, say thank you, and leave.

When Part 2 of the date happened, I realized something I hadn't been able to figure out during Part 1. (Non)Adorable (Not so much)Intellectual is a spitter. Yes, of the "Say it don't spray it" variety. This was not so fun. I had to force myself not to visibly cringe every time the dude opened his spitty mouth. If the place had been less crowded, I would have figured out a way to move my chair further away. Alas, 'twas not to be.

I need to become better at getting out of dates. He wasn't a bad guy, so I didn't want to be rude. And so our date lasted over 3 hours. Oy.

If AI were less clueless, he'd realize my body language was not inviting. He'd realize that when I didn't let him walk me home, it was a sign that I don't want to see him again. I fear he is indeed quite clueless. But if he doesn't call, then hey--I don't have to "let him down easy." So wish me luck that he actually gets it!

--Cute Jewess

2007-10-21T11:08:00.000-05:00

Hmmm. Well, the more I talk to Adorable Intellectual, the more he seems to lean toward dorky dorky rather than cute dorky. BUT. Dude calls when he says he's going to, and that's a big plus for me. Please be attractive, AI! I could use a boost in the Dude Department. On the plus side, I had 2 emails waiting for me in my Jdate inbox this morning from promising profiles.

Yesterday I bought myself a special treat--one I've been wanting for ages. Excitement! And I still had cream puffs--surprisingly, the vanilla was much tastier than the chocolate. Usually I like both the same. When it comes to sweets, I generally do not discriminate.

Meeting AI tonight! He chose a bar I like, so that was a good sign. Now just add a little more charm, AI, and be as cute as your picture. What, that's too much to ask? ;-)

--Cute Jewess

2007-10-20T13:04:00.000-05:00

Pouty pout.
So far, the weekend has been kinda a dud. Last night, I enjoyed hanging out with Sporty, but her neighborhood--where I'd never been before--was totally dead. Sooo...let's just say I'm not rushing to go back there. It's a hike, anyway!

Today I had been looking forward to traipsing around downtown with RH, shopping and eating cream puffs, but that's not gonna happen. I guess I'll head down on my own, since I've got errands to do.

Adorable Intellectual is supposed to call today...I hope he does! I have a feeling he might not be so cute in person--not sure why, just a hunch. But hey, maybe that means I'll be pleasantly surprised.

Let's hope the 2nd part of the weekend gets better!
--Cute Jewess

2007-10-19T15:51:00.000-05:00

Really, Retro Cool? You're still trying to hit this?

RC texted me asking to hang out again--despite the fact that I offered him my cheek when he leaned in to kiss me at the end of our date. I'm so not feeling him. We will not be making further plans, but RC hangs out at my local--so if we run into each other? So be it. Doesn't mean we're dating. Or that he's getting any closer to a goodnight kiss :-)

Tonight, Sporty will be on a boy rampage, which should be a kick to watch. She goes after them hard! We'll see if her boldness rubs off at all.

Then tomorrow, RH and I plan to traipse around SoHo, which promises to be fun. I've got to pick up a couple things from Sephora. New makeup! Wheee.

Tomorrow night I'll be chilling with a new group of ladies, so we'll see if I make some new friends. And then Sunday night, I'll be meeting Adorable Intellectual. If nothing else, I don't think it will be a horror date, which is really all I can ask for at this point.

Have great weekends, people!
--Cute Jewess

2007-10-18T12:17:00.000-05:00

Last night was so fun! First, Sporty and I met up at my local bar--I'm off to her neck of the woods on Friday--and then RH joined us later at another place she and I go to all the time. I've been having a lot of fun hanging with my girlfriends lately. Loverville and I spent a great Saturday night together, and I've seen Best Friend a couple times recently, and I hope to more.

An interesting tidbit from RH last night! She and I were walking home, and she told me she thought Wild Boy (our fave bartender) had a crush on me. Now, I don't personally think so--if Wild Boy has a type? I certainly can't imagine it's dorky Cute Jewess--but it was nice to hear that she thinks he has a soft spot for me, in whatever capacity it might be. It's nice to feel wanted at your fave local establishments! AND for the record, RH is beloved there too.

My Jdate story of the day yesterday? A guy contacted me, and I wrote back. He was cute, seemed like a decent (normal!) guy, so why not? He told me he thought my pictures were hot. I wrote back "What about my wit, charm, and smarts?" He clearly did not care to discuss my wit, charm, or smarts. Rather, he asked for "naughty pictures" of my "t*ts, hips and ass."

Rather than just not respond and risk hearing from Douchey Doucherton again, I sent back an "Um, no. Bye!" Douche.

I'm hoping to get to the gym tonight, then tomorrow's hanging in Sporty's neighborhood, where I haven't spent much time in the past.

Happy Thursday!
--Cute Jewess

2007-10-16T19:09:00.000-05:00

And, in fact, AI called. He does seem shy, but in an endearing way. He's not slick, but he has that dorky charm I kind of like. So far, he seems like a decent guy. AND I get the sense he feels him some Cute Jewess. But mostly, I like that he seems like a good person. I say "seems" of course, because at this point who knows? But the initial impression is good.

We've got a date set up for next week. Will we mesh in person or not? I can't say, but I'm looking forward to it.

Must dash!
--Cute Jewess

2007-10-15T11:11:00.000-05:00

Adorable Intellectual has not yet vanished, as I feared he might. In fact, he's sending over longer, funnier, and more thoughtful emails, which makes me think his delay in response might have something to do with writing a quality note rather than shooting something off quick.

He's got my digits now, and I think he'll use them. He's a cutie pie.

Divorced has not yet called, but I wasn't feeling him so much. And I've gotten a couple new worthwhile emails since I made myself more available on Jdate--one from a promising fellow who might earn a nickname soon. Ha. I just wrote "promising fellow." Hi, I'm 80 years old.

In general, my mood is improving, which is a relief. Peaks and valleys...peaks and valleys...

--Cute Jewess

2007-10-13T13:40:00.000-05:00

Oh for goodness sake. Now I'm having bad luck with Real Live Guys too! Well, sort of.

Last night, Sporty (my girl friend, Sexist Commenter Who Assumed It Had To Be A Guy) and I went out for drinks. Now, Sporty is outgoing when it comes to guys. She's cut to the chase, kiss the guy in a bar, if he's not interested move on to the next. As you know, I am more shy. But around Sporty, with some cocktails in me, I can get a bit bolder.

So last night I spoke to a few guys. 1) Galoomf: I did not find him attractive; he approached me, we chatted for a bit, then he left. I found out that Sporty thought he was cute. I worked some magic to get them speaking--she kissed him. 2) Straight Laced: I initiated conversation, we chatted for a bit, and then a girl came to join him--she was wearing an engagement ring. 3) Retro Cool: Sporty started chatting with Retro Cool's friend, so he chatted with me. I could tell he was interested, and I was willing to give him a shot. After talking more, I found him to be smart, funny, and decent. I didn't think he was the most attractive guy I've ever seen, but he was cute enough to get to know better. Retro Cool walked me home and leaned in for a kiss. I gave him my usual (if rare) Cute Jewess kiss-for-someone-I-just-met: nothing too deep, but enough to show interest.

Retro Cool asked me to lunch the next day. We had lunch, and it was okay. The conversation was good enough, if not filled with instant spark. Again, he seemed cute enough and decent enough to get to know. I'd have gone out with him again. EXCEPT.

Dude works at a major financial institution. And he asked to split the bill.

I'm sorry, but if a guy asks me to split the bill on the first date, it almost always means I will not go out with him again. It just says "cheap" and "ungenerous." Those aren't qualities you look for in a guy. Especially if he works for one of the richest companies in the world! If you treat a girl to a first date, it doesn't mean you'll be treating her for the rest of your dating life together. It just means you're considerate. You're showing her you're a classy guy. Trust me, the bill wasn't even close to large.

So, buh-bye Retro Cool. He leaned in to kiss me goodbye, and I gave him my cheek. He leaned in again, and I kissed him more chastely than when we first met. Will that be enough of a signal that he shouldn't call me? We'll see.

Meanwhile, Adorable Intellectual isn't writing me back. I don't know why--we've had such nice email banter. But he's logged in several times to Jdate now over the past couple days with no word.

That sucks--I wanted to meet that guy.

--Cute Jewess

2007-10-12T12:49:00.000-05:00

This post may be ethically questionable, but I'm bored, and I can always take it down. So...eh.

Every once in a while, when I'm browsing Jdate profiles, I'll think: "Wow. And you chose that picture why?"

So, now, I share. "Look at Me in Bed Guy," "I'm Funny Like A Clown--No Really, A CLOWN Guy," and "Wind Tunnel Hair Guy":

2007-10-11T12:10:00.000-05:00

I can not yet say my luck is turning. Not yet.

But I can tell you about the guy I briefly mentioned yesterday. I'll call him Adorable Intellectual. It's rare that a guy contacts me on Jdate that I like. This is partly my fault--I often choose the membership options that keep certain things hidden, like when I'm online, or when I view someone else's profile. So I'm not that easy to find. And yes, lately I've been changing this to be more findable.

So AI emails me, and I click on his profile. He's got a slightly dorky smile, nice dark hair. He looks like a good guy, and I think he's cute. I check the height--tall. He's successful, too, and seems to be looking for an intelligent woman. All pluses. AI is someone I would have emailed in a heartbeat--and I would say the best guy who's initiated contact with me on Jdate so far. So we start emailing, and I start waiting for him to disappear.

But so far...he's not disappearing. He writes long, funny, smart emails, and I return in kind. I imagine we'll speak on the phone quite soon. So let's hold out hope for Adorable Intellectual.

There's another guy on the Jdate radar, too. He'd be the first divorced guy I've ever gone on a date with (that I know of), so I'll call him Divorced (see how clever I am?). I've enjoyed corresponding with him, but we don't have the same email connection I feel with AI. Still, I think we'll probably meet, and at the very least talk on the phone.

Ah, and a third guy, but he seems interested only in sex. I dunno if that's something I'm interested in. He wants to talk...we'll see.

--Cute Jewess